Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Hey long time no blog. So freakin busy. blah blah. I hate people who are all I AM BUSY...we all are asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok....Fanatasy baseball is going to rule. I am already flying under radar and luvin it. Balgavy might not see it as he crunches the numbers. Let be said I have built around AROD well. We will be in the mix and our young pitching is going to FLOURISH like you would NOT believe. Santana, Peavy, Beckett...NICE F' all ya'all in my league.

Subway ramblings...ie I am pathetic...not altured from ramblings...

Do you ever get those days, weeks, months, years where everything seems to be spinning out of control. Like you have no way to manipulate events swarming around you. I am in the midst of one of those stress vortexes right now. Moving, marriage, grad school, small buisness, rock band, sick boss, sick dad its like some REAL WORLD kick in the mouth.

But the thing is as you ger older this stuff never slows down it just continues to bombard you until you learn to deal or go fucking insane!!!!!!!!!

Oh well......

I wish I had a job on the new liberal radio station. That sounds like fun. I don't even know if I can listen because I am so insanely jealous of the hosts. I have mixed emotions about al frankin. I do respect his SNL pedigree and think he is funnyu but do you ever start to feel like he is grave robbing this whole idea of the angry liberal? I haven't read his books but they seem to be obsessewd with revealing the man behind the curtain but since he is essentially preaching to the converted what is he accomplishing. Do Rush LImbaugh, O'Reily and Sean Hannity really reprsent........

Yours in the no spin zone,

Friday, March 26, 2004

More updates, sorry I am on a coffe fed rampage, why can't it be while I work OH WELL!!!!!!

Started my Washington Redskins Blog Joe Gibbs Baby! today in honor of opening of Spring MINI CAMP!

Yours in Ernest Byner,

I have to keep flogging my little brothers blog Days in the life of a "normal" TEEN maybe its because he is my bro, but I think its hysterical. I just added a comments section to his blog so that should be fun. My first comments to him will include ridicule for his horrible grammer/spelling/typo errors which make him, even by my standards, sound retarded.

Anyone know any other teenbased blogs???

Yours in sweet sixteen,

Yo Deuche Bags!

Like a complete moron I fucked up my whole blog by deleting the template! And of course I didnt have it saved even though Sensai Balgavy said SAVE YOUR TEMPLATE. Well enough jargon talk. I actually made the site even BETTER baby!!!!!!!!!!!!! I expanded the Required Reading section to include some new stuff that I am hooked on. This includes the excellent pro media sanity blog BuzzMachine created by the dude who started Entertainment Weekly and a good election issues blog by fellow JMU Duke Brian Minter Bears Will Attack

So everything, including the comments pages which people need to use more, is back up!

Yours in John Kerry,

So I have a few aborted Blogs from yesterday that I am going to post in bold print because I believe to be the best blogger I can be I need to just crap out all the junk. Maybe thats self indulgent but isn't that sort of the point of Blogs...sorry if they just trail off it probably meant the train came or something.

So I was just at this spa SOHO sanctuary (recapping here on an uptown W train) to get my lady a gift certificate for her birthday. I am very happy to get this and got a great package, she will be siked and I will be happy blahblahblah and puppies to. Happy ending's all around.

BUT I would be remiss to not report on my experience because its funny, mostly at my own expense....

FOR ME I am an anti spa kinda guy. All the therapys and treatments don't mean nothin to me. I hate massages. I only learned what exfoliation gel was when I acidently washed may hair with it. OUCH. No metrosexual am I. Well like most of us I am not that comfortable in strange situations so when I walked into the place I already had my hackles up. The liquid heat from the saunas hits you immediately doping you like some hop head. I was disoriented. I have this large Carhart (Thats my brand baby!) jacket on that has now endured two long winters and kinda stinks. I felt like a black dude in Far Rockaway. Out of place. Instantaenously three blissed out recptionist turned on me like an invading Hum.....


I was just going to spew a bunch of shit about the 1/9 train always pulling way as my 2/3 pulls into the 96st station on the red line. Complaing how they need to coordinate the transfer and a bunch of other hot air. And because it literally just happened to me as I bang this out on the sidekick I can't gear myself up for it. I mean I lived right? Unlike those unwashed masses in Madrid. They just disarmed a bomb underneath a commuter train in France to. I was in the subway station the day on atlantic ave in brooklyn they shut down a plot there for transit terror.

Nice my train just came...

Regularly I see national gaurdsman with m16s and bomb sniffing dogs in the subway....

Let it not be said I dont hold anything back!

Yours in Danger

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

So I really think the HOWARD STERN factor is going to really bite old Bush II on the ass. I am a Stern FANATIC so call me bias BUT this FCC/NIPPLEGATE/THE PASSION/NO WMD/RICK SANTORUM/URBAN OUTFITTERS coup de tat of the ole' US of A is FRIGHTENING beyond belief.

Stern is currently spending his (last?) days smacking Bush and right wing warriors around like drunk sparring partners and doing more damage than an army of cloned John Kerrys could.

ANY WAY.....I think story and the many facted issues aren't going away antime soon as we prepare to do battle with men who activily look to tear down our rights. Stern has turned his personal website (which previously he admittedly underused) into a clearinghouse for anti bush/pro stern, anti religous conservatives/pro freespeech funny/serious links. I love it! I could stay on it for hours! Check it out:


  • Also you might notice a new link on the right. Its to The good doctor Gonzo's regular sports/politics column on ESPN's Page 2. In these dark and mysterious times who better to look to for wisdom than Mr. Fear & Loathing himself. Also you can get gambling tips!


    no longwinded discourse here on the genocide of wacko christians this time out. Just a quick shout out about my 17 Year old brother Bryan's hysterical new blog. He has a loose funny vibe. Here is the link
  • "Normal" Teenager
  • . Make him part of your daily blog diet if you want to connect to your puberty! And who doesn't wanna relive those chuckle years.

    Also I wanted to give out my AOL Instant Message name in case anyone wants to yell at me: stooznyc

    My brother's is blaw2828

    Yours in Balgavy


    This blog shit is melting my brain all I think about is BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG. MUST READ WRITE BLOGS ALL THE TIME..

    I wish I just had a microchip in my head that I could think "prepare text for uplink" than babble out a bunch of mental diharea (dont care if spelled wrong) and some than when I run dry of I think "end text" and than "uplink thought-speak to blog and publish."

    Until they do that its an imperfect system yet one I am fully on board with. I even like reading other people's blogs its all quasi personal I love that. Like the study that just said people are MORE honest online. Does that mean that most internet users are woman 5'3 120lb C/D cup? But sereiously folks people love to lie all the time that is the true national past time.

    Every jerkoff should get a blog, I like the idea that everyone just vents in a text box their minutia and hang up. Maybe it will make people more relaxed out here in the unvirtual world when like for instance you trample me on the subway.

    Yours in blaw2828

    So here I am sitting here wasting valuable time waiting to play a Hecklers gig....

    Every god damn time the promoter/club insists we get to the venue like mega early. Like tonight for example we had to be here at 645 on a freakin Tuesday night. I mean we are workin stiffs its a real pain in the ass to bust it to get there that early. But of course when we show up some little east viallage twat that looks like that chick mia suvlaki from American Beauty tells us we can't even unload the car until 730 and that is the policy 7 days a week. Why the hell didn't the promoter tell us that!!!!!!!!

    Now we are sitting in the dank cold basement of the Club Lit listening to the metal band Symphony X on the house PA. They sound like a cross between Europe and Yngvie Malmsteen. Oh Rock n Roll, gotta love...

    Actually lately I have been hating rock and roll more and more but I can't explain exactly why. Broken promises, the fact that shit rises to the top almost without fault. Makes me want to buy a season pass to the symphony.

    And don't even start me off on live concerts I am almost over that as I am right wing christian groups.

    Do these people have lives. I am calling for internment camps. Round up christian extremists and give them utah or alabama to run as their own country and make the visas to the rest of the country damn near impossible to attain. Let them outlaw fun, sex. Minorities. Swearing, abortions, gays, music, movies, medical research, evolution in their own country and let all uf sane live and let live types have the rest of the country.

    Yours in allah

    Tuesday, March 23, 2004

    I am so sick of my dual apartment system. Always trudging my ass and a bacpack up the steep park slope hills. I gotta say I am revved up about the idea of gettin hitched in a few months maybe its my 32 year old geezer status but getting some donesticity into my life sounds right good.

    What doesn't feel good are my burning calves rounding on to 6th ave. Walking is way overated unless you enjoy being healthy. New york has got to be the walking capital of the western world. I feel like half my life is spent navigating jagged sidewalks. Currently I am walking and typing pretty musch not looking up from the console. At any moment I could trip and fall causing signifigant damage to myself and my robot friend. But I thrive on danger and I do this for you the bloging q public. Like charlto....whoops almost just got hit by a car....n heston jr. I pardon my critics.....

    Yours in jim chevizal

    Monday, March 22, 2004

    I am back. Is there a legal limit on how many blog enteries in a day one can post??? I am sure Colin Powell's nephew is working on anti blogging legislation as I type.

    Speaking of typing, I will be writing a good amount of blogs on my TMOBILE Sidekick. This is only the greatest thing I have ever owned. 2 weeks ago when I lost my recharger and was without my robot friend I almost hung myself. The fact thta I am posting my random thoughts to the WORLD WIDE WEB while whipping around in a brooklyn gypsy cab is the greatest thing to happen to new journalism since Dr. Gonzo gave up his dreams of bieng a novelist.

    BUT the smale tmobile key board makes me prone to typos. Make the leap with me people I am confident you can deduce my meaning. I am not tapping out al queda code or anything

    Speaking of alqueda have they not completely won the war on terrorism? What's the over under on the death toll, american and otherwise, on bush's watch. I will set it at 1000 and bet my paycheck on over...

    This fuckin driver has his squack box set to inhuman decibles. I am writhing in pain in the back in the back seat. It sounds like the chatter before a terrorist strike to.


    Sitting here in my room that will be my room no longer in under 2 weeks, wierd but not an all unpleasnt thought really. Started taking posters down, that's hard and I can't even look my action figures as they scream "lord god father why have you foresaken me."

    In fact let me say right now that I have some cool stuff that I have to get rid of and it will break me as a man to throw it away. Like right now I am looking at a copy of Deadwood City Choose your own adventures series #8 which from reports is most likely more entertaining than HBO's version Deadwood. Or how about a glass fire dragon figurine.

    As an introductry offer to Bile & Venom readers I am giving stuff away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just email me or make contact with me to come by. If you can't make it over here email (chrislarry@nyc.rr.com) and I will send you something. Like how about a Rod Langway hockey card a beer bottle designed by artist Ralph Steadmen.?

    OK have to alternate side park.


    Sunday, March 21, 2004

    So here is my entry point into the dark underbelly of blogs. I figured since I basicaly have a running internal blog it might be healthy to start puking this stuff out because its causing some serious stomach and brain cramping. I am not gone waste a lot of time on introduction, you either A) already know me, B) don't care or C) hopefully my insightfull, witty blogs will allow you to get to me over time.

    Currently I am on the crapper of some seedy New York State driving school taking a break from the antiquated drivers ed snuff films. An endless barage of crying parents of dead kids.

    I am 31 years old and have been driving since I was 16. When I moved to NYC I didn't ned a car and never drove. My Virginia liscense expired and I didn't renew it in NYC because why bother I was a straphanger now! My mother repeated annoyed me with her endless nagging of "you beter take care of this" and of course I ignored her and figured I would do it eventually. Well life loves to kick yo right in the nuts when you act like an idiot. By the time I got around to looking into getting it all figured my liscense had been expired over a year which means instead of filling out some paperwork and standing in line for 2 hours I gotta do the whole fucking process like some spazzed out zip popping 15 year old. Lerners permit, 5 hour class road test, the whole scam.

    No in this time all this is happening I got a girlfriend who just got a free standard transmission jeep which she couldn't drive. So now I am driver. For the past 5 years I have been driving without a liscnce. Not that I haven't tried. I have flunked the drivers test TWICE because I am so comfortable driving.

    The New York City Dmv is a complete farce filled with graft, bias and the most assinine rules. I am in the middle of the second 5 hour class. I let the first one I took expire, sound familiar? This teaches nothing and has got to be the biggest waste of time.

    Oh well I am already bored of this topic my lesson is DONT RUN AFOUL OF GOVERMENT BEAUROCRACY BECAUSE IT WILL SCREW YOU EVERY TIME

    Ok gotta jet about to order sub at City Sub and get home for more NCAA action

    I promise my bloggin skills will improve