Friday, July 30, 2004

DNC is Over and Joe Scarborough must Die!

Wow. Quite a show. Too bad the networks couldn’t cut away from reruns of CSI: Dubuque and The Swan to show Obama or Jimmy Carter. The Dems have gotten very polished and seem sleek and sexy for this scrap. As much as I could bitch, I am officially biting the tongue and unleashing my full evilness on W. So no long reviews about the Dems ignoring Gay issues other than winks and nods or leaving the whup ass stick at home on the evil-doers in the White House.

Kerry’s speech really worked when he aggressively took back issues like values, family and patriotism. I was like speak it brother, I am so sick of the Republicans co-opting that kind kneejerkery.

Joe Scarborough is so transparent with his motives and agenda on MSNBC. Could we all be any more tired of this smarmy-jokey-frat boy-cool guy-business casual archetype conservative pundit. It is like they just discovered detached cynical wisecrakery! Former Congressmen Joe’s first comments after the speech immediately transformed him into Joan Rivers. He admitted that the speech content was excellent, but that Kerry’s diction and cadence was weak and he trampled his best lines. WHAT? SHUT UP! Don’t we have bigger issues facing the country/world/universe? Like Bush isn’t Alfered E. Newman on ludes everytime he opens his mouth. What Me Worry?

Hienz-Kerry: White Mischief hits the Big Time

In one of his first post DNC stump speeches Bush gave a preview of the GOP’s strategy saying “the most important reason to keep me in office is to Keep Laura Bush as the first lady for four more years!” which got uproarious applause from the xenophobes in the crowd. Is this the best they can do? Aren’t we sick of attack the wives bit. They are attacking the widow of a Republican Senator and a woman who gives millions to charity monthly. “She talks funny she must be French”. Can we now start classifying Laura Bush as the tightlegged prig who is so deep in a Paxil haze that she admitted on Leno that the goal of any election is to make the other candidate/family look as bad a possible.

Lt Liesure Time Larry, and I am reporting for duty!

So I am still thinking on the Coffe Flats Writers Guild. But I really feel the need to DO SOMETHING for this election but am sort of at a loss as to what. Any ideas collectively that we/I/you could do. I was thinking about offering to drive Brooklynites to the polls with the jeep (you know like the elderly and shit) but I am coming up kinda empty. There is always money, which is prolly best but so personally unsatisfactory. Also the RNC in NYC is coming up and I feel the need to do something than as well. Maybe we should all cover the convention on our Blogs in some way. A cooridanted assault/reporting on the battlezone that Manhattan will become. Who is in!?!?!?!

Friday, July 09, 2004


One thing I hate about summer is that every drink I have ends up sweating condensation! Its so anoying as my clothes are soggy from the drinking already! And its all a viscious circle because the reason I need constant drinks is that its so hot!!!!!!!

Yours in Diet Pepsi,

Thursday, July 08, 2004


Cool looks like I got the chatter going. Here is my platform:

1. Create a central website that would house all members of the Coffee Flats Bloggers Guild. This way we could advertise and publicize one URL that would than represent us all. The website would mostly consist of links to our blogs, a bios section, photo gallery, announcements and a "front page" feature that would report and highlight issues in our community,much like listing's does for our Coffee Flats Fantasy Baseball League.

2. Draft some kind of credo, manifesto, motto, that sums up our reason for grouping and acts as a ideal for future members.

3. Create charter members (not limited by geography)who will than agree to add fellow members on their blogs links if they don't exist already. Have some kind of LOW yearly dues to cover incidentals like buys domain name etc. Handle money via paypal. Have donations link on our group home page.

4. Have online town hallmeetings via IM/Message board to make decisions.

5.Marketing! Events, sponsored happy hours, concerts, buttons, Tshirts etc.

6. Take over of international banking system

7. World domination, making society safe for silliness, inside jokes, cranky rants and our own brilliance.


Yours in the Water Buffalo Society,

Wednesday, July 07, 2004


So I did get my new Sidekick and paid my bill, but now the phone doesnt work!!!!!!!! Have to send it back! But I should get a new one. As of now I am using the Net features as the Wilco review was a subway screed. I love how I am getting the rep as machine gun poster!!!!! I hit it quik when the mood strikes baby! Thats how I do!

Yours in Machine Man,

P.S. Finally saw Far. 911. Do we really need another blog on it??? BUT the fact that it was the number 2 movie in the country its second weekend on fewer screens is insane!


Yeah I am bitter. I couldn't eek out a living swiming in this cess pool. But blessings often come like a rabbit punch. The last 15 years of rabid and debilitating music fandom has left me in a cynical well informed malaise to anything that purpots to be melodious sound waves. I like to brag that I hate music. The problem is that I only wish it were true. Instead I am scorned lover at home getting a hard on over my anger and pain.

Mary who puts food on our table by snorkeling with these sharks and she is sick of my attitude. Last week she wisely commented that she wished I knew nothing about "pop music" so the running commentary could be shut off. And I get her point because truth be told I annoy myself as well.

So with that intro I launch the new ALBUMS I WOULD DOWNLOAD FOR FREE features to Bile & Venom that should help solidify my belief to be music hackery's last champion! My goal is 2 capsule album reviews a week. Here we go...

WILCO A Ghost Is Born: Minumum listens before dumping to trash: 5. Takes awhile to break through and us much as you would love to see midas touched sad sack Tweedy stumble once (I said I was bitter) he again delivers a great album. He reminds me of those kids in High School who were able to get attention and chicks by flaunting there flaws. "Aww he's so cute he has diabetes, pooor baby is color blind, when he cuts himself I get wet" ect.. When I listen to Ghost Is Born it makes me feel the same as when I read The Corrections. Both works made me long for mental illness and dysfunction. Normally I am a pretty sane well ajusted chap but maybe it would be cool to be sychtzo or strung out. Reading Frazen or listening to Wilco gives me that hit of psuedo melencholy I need. Now all this brings us to track 11, the infamous noise jam. Is this the first turd in Wilco's Canon? Their "She's So Heavy"? Even compared to other noise jams and droning experimentation it sucks. Tweedy has said it suppossed to make you hit the next button and is purposely not the last track. Even the Flaming Lips had the coutesy to place their wankery as the last track on Hit To Death on the Future Head. Mission accomplished Jeff. I left it off completely on the transfer to the IPOD. Maybe that makes me a simpleton and the joke is on me.


So it seems to me we have this very little blogging community. I am calling a virtual town meeting for the sake of our blogs. We need some central web page, a snappy name, maybe a motto (I like the apes!) some U-N-I-T-Y. Any ideas. I just think it would be cool and it would be easier to promote. Like a web ring or sumshit, or even better a Guild! Feel free to debate before voting.

Ballot Initiative #1: The Forming of some umbrella group from our family of Blogs:




Non bloggers are eligible to vote

Does anyone know a good free poll feature I can use in the future?

Yours in the grass roots,

Thursday, July 01, 2004


Stop the votes, debates and spell checks Liesure Time Larry is the runaway winner. I hate it, but the public has spoken. Thanks to my MOM for sticking up for me. I have to admit today, with lots to do, I have very much adopted my name as I have done NOTHING productive, instead playing 2.5 hours of Baldurs Gate: Dark Alliance 2. I love Baldur's Gate 1 BUT when I was 2/3 of the way through the game I accidently DELETED my game. I wept and never turned it on again.

Now I wasting time blogging, Liesure Time Larry indeed.

Yours in Tomfoolery,