Friday, April 23, 2004

I was just reading Dan Savages letters column in the village voice and there was letter about how his readers had created the term PEGGING (the act of a straight male getting ass fucked with a strap-on by a women, think Ralphie on the Sopranos) and the reader had noticed the term popping up in pop culture. Senor Savage also added that an episode of FX's The Shield had also used the term and even entitled the episode PEG. All this got me pondering how much I love the practice of creating new terms, words and sayings. This obsession goes back to highschool where we were obsessed with creating catch phrases to the point of ridiculousness. I had half the school using "Cheese Nerd" for the better part of my sophomore year. Later in my life, although not much further on the maturity scale, me and my cohorts racked our brains trying to come up with the female version of FREE BALLIN (always fun to sing to Tom Petty's Free Fallin). We never really could quite come up with something that clicked. Feel free to brainstorm your ideas on the comments section.

My buddy J-Flood wrote an excellent essay where he proposes a new term for gay men who aren't stereotypical gay. The term was STRAY. I loved it and the essay kicked ass as a piece of cultural criticism. He backburnered the idea because of the fascist political climate towards non breeders as he didn't want to be seen as a alternative lifestyles traitor. An honorable goal but I still say the world is worse without his new word. J-Flood still doesn't have a blog which is way more of a political crime than his birth of the term STRAY. J-Flood come out of the cave already the world needs your voice.....jeesh.

By the way if any of you are offended by talk of balls, ass fucking, homos or cheese nerds, please die. We need chemical showers for these knee jerk offended. The world is profane, deal. Maybe you should get more offended by the "collateral damage" caused by the war in Iraq (now there is a new term we could do without....) That last statement made me think that, unfortunately, the Pentagon seems to make up more new terms than any other group (shock and awe, operation just cause etc) maybe they are the new Saturday Night Live. I mean after all didn't G-Dumb just do a killer Dana Carvey at his press conference uttering "Stay the course" 3 or 4 times!

Yours in the Church Lady,

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Yo mama's boys and girls!

My family has caught BLOG FEVER, you already know about BLAW (and he is dying for more feedback on his comments page, he's a teen he needs praise and ass kicking!) and my other bro SLAW is a commenting madman especially on my REDSKINS BLOG but now my MOTHER has gotten into the act with her newly launched MIDDLE MUSINGS blog. This woman can write her ass off and its where all my prowess comes from so check it out and tell her middle age ain't THAT BAD, not that 99% of you have ANY CLUE!!!

Speaking of old age, at Bank Street (my grad school) on of my friends was talking about her new Apartment (literaly 1 block from me..) and kept talking about how her roomate was al "adult" and "mature" b/c she was 31! YIKES i am 31 and will soon be 32! Finally after like the 10th referance I was like "everytime you say that you drive a knife in to my heart I AM 31" they were all like...sorry gramps...and than started talking about how 25 is when it all starts to go downhill.....did they not here me or just don't care about my feelings....WHAAAA...if these ladies cant handle 25 wait until 30 punches them in the mouth.....

Check out Dor's/Glo's/Mom's blog and continue to understand "Lawrence Luck" as Blaw talks about....Mary do you know what your doing, of course you do your not taking the cursed name HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Your's in Dor,

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

I am riding the uptown 3 train on my way to school. I am exhausted from 2 straight nights of intense homework, writing grants and research projects. Stressed out for my third attempt at the NYC drivers test. I looked forward to the 45 minute zone out time of my train ride. BUT instead I got some loud wacked out black isrealite SCREAMING at the entire train. Just yelling and spitting literally 2 feet from my face. I feel like snapping his neck that's why I am furiously typing as a way to dump the anger this dude is inspiring in me. He is yelling about black people and how everyone is evil. And we are all going to our pagan jobs preparing to burn in hell....

I am so tired of people preaching their ignorant self serving bullshit all the time. Everywhere I look religon is bieng used to enslave, terrorize, restrict, frighten and scare people. Its the root of 99 percent of the worlds problems. Christians, jews, muslims, hindus....FUCK THEM ALL.

I feel like most of us are just trying to survive in this life, swiming upstream minding on our buisness. This train is like a microcosm of life. Most if us are tired, overworked, stressed out unwashed masses just trying to make it through a day in a world loaded against us. But instead we are huddled in fear and intimidation by a religous extremist who needs to scream his ego dominating everyone. HEAR ME HEAR ME HEAR ME its what the right wing christian says, its what the islamic extremist says, its what the wacky celebrity kabalists say, what the scientologists and the catholics say......its trhe kind of spiritual masturbation that holds all of us down by the neck like a dog who just shit on the carpet.

He finally got off at 42nd street, probably to joun his other brothers in abraham in times square to yell at the buisness casual crowd as they sip their latte's and get that last smoke before hitting the slaughter pen, I mean cubicle.

Say after me brothers and sisters:

UGH, and again I say UUUGHH

Yours in Yahweh,

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Hey gang here is details on Mary and I's upcoming PARTY:

Hello Friends!!!!!!!!

Mary and I (and the good people of 38 St. Marks) would like to invite you to the last blow out-wish we were still in college- keg party of our single lives!!! Yes it’s the very 21st century Co-Bachelor/ette Party!!!

Judging on the rich history of the 38 St. Marks party lore this promises to be ONE FOR THE AGES! One last time before walking down the aisle you can witness ME being loud and walk on furniture at my own party (and hopefully stay awake) and for Mary to hold court over half the room with Menudo stories and her newest yarn "Can you believe what Chris said/did this time." We promise to be in our best raucous mood like in our pre LOVE days when at one happy hour we were dubbed "Battle of the Louds"

I hope you can join us!


WHEN: Saturday April 17th 10PMish

WHERE: 38 St. Marks Place, Brooklyn. Between 3rd and 4th Ave. Close to Atlantic/Pacific Station (D/W/Q/N/2/3/4/5). Exit Pacific exit and walk 4 blocks away from the clock tower. Take right on St Marks from 4th ave.

PHONE: 718 246 1404 OR 347 866 4363


So finally got the new LOVE SHACK wired for full digiatal cable roadrunner modem!!!! Also upgraded to the Balgavy aproved DVR. That should bring me and the little lady hours of pleasure. I will post pics of the new pad when its ready, and I can't wait to have folks over!!!!

My newely again wired status will increase my blog, sorry for the layoff as I was lost in the wastelend of limited internet access.

Yours in Broadband,

Wow I thought our last gig sucked.......

I am sitting in the Slipper Room on a wed with an annoyong cold and a foul temper. Afrer 7 long stupid years of the Heckers here we are wasting time on some suburbanized watering hole in the whitewashed Lower east side basically waiting our turn on some open mike night. Currenly we are enduring this horric jc from Insync wanna be croon on an electric piano. Its like talent night on Greek row at campus town usa, only worse. Oh great the Bongos just kicked in. And I am wondering why when I have a grant, research paper and a curriculum to write plus a wedding to plan and an apt to unpack I am sitting here waiting to embaress ourselves in front of a sea of bad makeup and thursday happy hour buzzes?

Justin or jarvis or whoever is singing his newest hit "colorblind"

This is gig is put together by this website we got involved with called wise elephant. They tried to get into this artist services type thing but shocker it didn't work out. This gig I agreed to do months ago when it looked like a good idea. Now the site is going under and we find out what an afterthought this whole thing was. The site and date have been moved for this gig and its been crammed into....

Ok I have to get off this because Jerkin's stage banter is so hysterical I can't even do it justice I would trade a cousin for a microphone so I could record and share it with you all. He is treating his 5 friends like he was onstage at the Royal Albert Hall

"New york I love you"

"Its so hot but I do it for you"

" This song is emotionaly intense"

"This song is about rachel sitting right there because we have a history I am not gonna get into right now"

"Sign up on my email list, maybe we'll connect, maybe we can date"

I am now watching the girl this song is about, some trashy jersey girl type blush with her huge honker. The bongo (yes Bongos) player is so off beat it sounds like a police beating. I wish he would brain Jared with them. I am now visualizing the bongos taking off a chunk of jasons skull.

So we played OK but who cares I am so over the whole dog and pony show of it all. I know my boy from (formely) of Wise Elephant had good intentions but this gid was a waste. I think us and Alchol Stuntband would have been a good match up in a real rock club with a receptive audience and some decent promotion. Part of that is our fault as we didnt even send out an email. Our drummer/tech guy Paul is to busy to send an email out for a show that was booked 3 months ago so what do we expect. Why do I do it? I am asking myself that very same question repeatedly!!!!!

I HATE MUSIC, sometimes I don' Definetely has too many notes!

Yours in Wise Elephant,

P.s. Alex I love you baby! Glad your back making films!

Friday, April 02, 2004

The other day while I was moving my junk into the new LOVE SHACK (baby!) I overheard a hysterical conversation. It was a contractor working on the brownstone nextdoor. He was on his cell talking to a client who still owed money. In a very calm and controlled voice he was like:

You better have the money for my men today, this is bullshit. You don't want me to come for it next week. If I have to come it won't be to chat. I will hurt you. If I have to pay you a visit it will end with me going to jail and you going to the hospital. That you can count on.

There was other menacing talk that I wish I coiuld remember better. Some real Sopranos type shit. I felt honnored to overhear this gem......I will be going to jail, you to the hospal.....brilliant. I now hunger for more details. Ok I have to order my ice coffe now.

Yours in Pauley Walnuts,

Thursday, April 01, 2004


So I just finished moving everything out of 38 St. Marks Pl (my pld apt). Kinda room is all the way bear waiting for one Matt Army to take the reigns. I have spent the last 2 days moving over records, cds, comic books, action figures, electroncis, clothes, a few pieces of furniture related to housing the previous list. Got say the new pad is going to Kick ass with me and the little lady. But I would be lying if I didnt says it feels wierd to be spending my last nights in these hallowed halls so let me do the muster roll call that I join as X-38 st marksters:

John Zuliwaga
Mackey (R.I.P.)
kip Kouri
Anne Fornecker
Nancy Fischeler
Jim Flood
Kevin Defenbaugh
Jason Coolie
Jill & Ed Shelf Life
Carl's Girlfiend
Angela Coppala
Dave P

Lots of amazing memories here certainly, the Sexy Swinging Singles Party, Sopranos pot luck, family dinners, christmas parties, The Sock Hop, first Hecklers gig, The Shelf Life basement indie rock marathon, rearranging furniture on sept 12th 2001, mindaltering latenights, waiting for larry/17/evergreen, too many amazing sports moments to name, craps/poker parties, private rushmore screenings, eric & amie 8mm film festival, fantasy baseball draft, ncaa draft pools, HBO sundays, record listening, WCAL broadcasts, the "book", Olympic headquarters, easter dinners, Crush Factor writing sessions, Bel, science fiction wall, 20 Midgets, and so on and so forth...

I just realized I have lived here longer than any place except my childhood home.

Feel free to post about this classic location on the comments section, favorie memories, pest residents, worst memories ect.

Yours in 38 St. Marks Pl Brooklyn,