Monday, May 10, 2004

OK here is some of the Subway Diaries brought to you by Tmobile's Danger Sidekick. The prefered mobile device for Demi Moore, Camerenon Diaz, Lindsay Lohan and Chris Larry. These have not been edited, rferead, or changed from the time of blog creation on subway. In bold.

I know I know long time no blog. I bet your wondering "has he finally hit the wall, ran out of steam, pooped out, insert cliche here?

Well I don't have a good answer fot ya bubs. I have been deep into my own life which is pathetic but true. I will spare you the tedium of the details. I have been tired, angry, depressed, sick, busy, arrogant to vent on here with any kind of literary voracity. It would have been self loathing to the max and that's always boring. I have felt like brain is set to constant blog and that its hard to direcxt that thoughts into the minikeys. I have 2 unfinished blogs buried deep in my digital memory.

Lets move from the bitterly personal to the cynicaly political with the confusion of a Larry King USA Today column. Is John Kerry the best we can throw at Bush?? There seems to be growing scuttle butt that many Dems are nervous Kerry has stumbled out of the gate and is already losing precious ground to Bush. W is post-teflon. He lives by a personal code and practice of "I am the mirror and you are the glue. Whatever you stay bounces off me and stick to you!" He has had about as a bad a 4 weeks stretch as any Prez in recent memory on international affairs issues. Can you believe that we almost impeached Bill Clinton on where he snuffed out his cigar and if he lied about it. Or even that a few career beauracrats got a few extra flights?? Team Bush has not told the truth in 3 years. Its all lies, subterfuge, and doublespeak. All this bafoonery and Kerry is already getting creamed. He doesn't even have a campaign manager for Ohio and seems to have learned nothing from Howard Dean in terms of techno-politicing.

Here is the only flip side/devil's advocate theory that will accept:

Team Kerry knows how brutal this election will be. With Iraq, 9/11 and the psuedo election of 2000 as a backdrop and the olympics, conventions and what everyone says is a probable terroist attack mixed as a part of the soup this should prove one that when the age turns to legend people will still sing of with gusto. With this in mind perhaps Kerry is simply laying low and letting Team Bush blow itself out with its walmartization of political discourse. Kerry knows that you can't come out like a banshee to early and he can let Bush sink himself. As it stands now no incumbant president has ever started fighting this hard this early. Its like the bushies know that they operate best in the bullshit short attention span world of campaigning so might as well start early.

All this sounds good of course but I am still as jittery than the fitst in line at the methadone line


I am sortof hard to pin down spiritualy. As any srtoll through my archives will attest me and organized religon aren't real cozy. But even my own sense of personalized spirtuality is hazy for me. But one of my few tenents are based on good deeds beget other good deeds, do onto others as you would have done to you, payback is a bitch, karma, what goue up comes down, they will get theirs eventually, envy is bad. You get the point. Some concept of this belief is prevelent (although rarely practiced) in almost all the worlds religons in some way.

But like any any religon, my fragile framework has a nasty mule kick coraralry that leaves you gasping for air rolling around on the gravel plugging your guts closed with a dirty finger. For me its the outrage when you feel screwed, like I when I can't seem to get a withdraw from the karma bank after a whole lots of deposits. Not only do I feel ripped-off, abused and guilty (I must not be livin as right as I thought) but I start questioning my simple scaffold of beliefs.