Bile & Venom

Wasn't I Rock Scribe Hat Trick

2006-02-14T15:02:00.000-05:00

Again killing time in the Bank Street College of Education library. I love setting myself up in a little corner computer here b/c I can plug in my ipod so I actually have enough juice to get home with and still listen. I have a million homework style things I could be doing right now like "Reflecting on my Experience with Representational Collage" or reading about language development in 3 year olds. If this wasn't my last semester I would consider murder-sucide in the middle of one of my classes. I have been embroiled in the group project from hell. I won't bore you with the details. What was so wrong with an underemploted rock critic/record store clerk anyway? Ok on to the random...

Michael Shelly The Pill Too Many Movies: I love this dude. Very Ben Vaughn/Jonathan Richman, sappy poppy tunes. Always funny. Lately I have been trading messages with him on my space. He even remembered me from some positive reviews I gave him in Eye Deal. He said the Hecklers sounded like the Queers, Nice! Our drummer Paul actually played bass on his first album. Wierd huh? Search the dollars bins for his work.

The Detroit Cobras Find Me A Home Love Life and Leaving: One of the many things I love about the Detroit Cobras is how they always jump out of the headphones like an alley cat. Their albums are produced L-O-U-D. Recently saw them for the first time and loved it. Recent platter was produced by Greg "Oblivion" Cartwright which is like a double helping of fun. My buddy Plumley hates th Cobras.....that dude is wierd!

Paul Westerburg Now I Wonder Folker: By the last major label album by Westerburg I had pretty much written him off as a has been. But ever since Stereo/Mono (including all the Grandpa Boy material) he is having a middle age rebirth that has him again burrowed deep into my aging heart. Rumors of his return drinking may be the reason for his return to greatness. I have so mush of his material on my robot friend he comes up like every 5 songs.

Anita Lane Do That Thing Sex O'clock: Another side product of my advancing age has been my new found love of slightly trip hoppy-poppy femal vocalists. I know the 24 year old chris would kick my ass but so be it. It all started with that damn Dido single. Ms. Lane is an australian sex pot that has worked with Nick Cave amd Mick Harvey. This album makes me so horny its insane. From the first bar of any song on the album I get a rumbling in my loins. Good choice for val day CAL! The lyrics are all about karma sutras, group sex, nipples tweaks....ok I better control myself an elderly woman just sat in the computer next to me...

Peggy Seeger Gonna Be An Enginner Smithsonian Folkways Sampler: Great early feminist folk rant about a smart las who was forced into marriage/kids by society instead of following her dreams of being an engineer. I can never figure out if she means train conducter or the more techinal type of engineer. I guess it doesn't matter the points the same either way. This song even deals with the glass cieling when she is forced back into her dream due to her husband being laid off. "Fight them as a woman, not a lady" Sing it sister! My fave early pre war feminist rant is the Carter Family's Married Girl/Single Girl.

Nina Persson I Could Buy You Unreleased: This song is like one of my all time fave songs. This comes from a solo album by the Cardigan's singer that never came out, stateside at least. My buddy Sopkia championed this album in the 'industry" but could never get it sold. Amazing soft rock country pop (see above for my girl singer sweet tooth) with amazing lyrics about a girl willing to pay some hottie to hang out with her. See is even willing to pay his friends just so he won't leave. I wish I was that guy sounds like heaven, 'Hey Nina the new XBOX just came out and we need more weed, look I promise I will bang you later but I am just about to kill Sauron"

Watts Monkey Chain ST: This band rose from the ashes of the mighty Mono Men. This album is balls out punk n roll fun. An anthmatic fuck you to the work a day birth taxes death world.

The A-Bones Maintaing My Cool Daddy Wants A Cold Beer: The A-Bones do the Sonics! Garage Rock at its primal party best.

The Nerves One Way Ticket Children of Nuggets Box Set: The Nerves (Jack Lee/Paul Collins/Peter Case) were one of the original and best power pop combos. They are best known as the band that wrote and recorded "Hangin on the Telephone" that Blondie made famous. All three members went on to do other things (Paul Collins Beat/Case The Plimsouls/Jack Lee solo) before they could take over the world, and I am always on the lookout for their one 7" EP even at collector prices. This track is like the coolest thing I have ever heard and could be my anthem about how I feel about my last semester of grad school.

OK, time for "Art for Teachers" Y-U-C-K!

Till next time,
Teacher Man Larry

Quick Hits!

2006-02-13T12:32:00.000-05:00

The Return of Dick Buttons

I just scoured the internet for a pic of this Figure Skating legend and can't find one. I am super excited to have Mr. Buttons joining the NBC team. For decades he did the Olympics and other figure skating events for ABC. I have missed him since NBC took over. I missed his bitchy queen delivery, his ability to translate the sport to normal viewers and his openness to enjoy a routine even if it isn't technically perfect. Looking forward to his calls the next few weeks...

Speaking of Dicks

To me this whole Cheney quail hunting accident and its cover up is a perfect microcosm for the Bush/Cheney administration. The White House spin has been to push the responsibility of announcing the accident to the Ranch owner and has hinted that it was the victims fault. Pass the buck, blame the victim are mantras and policy for these hoods.

NEW BLOGS GET YOUR NEW BLOGS HERE!

Some great additions to the Chris Larry blogesphere

Here Comes Trouble:Phoebe Plumley Great pics of Memphis' favorite daughter!

Ruminations From a Raleigh Court: My old buddy JB pontificates and educates.

Stu Overdue: The propetier of the legendary Stooz Records finally has a mouthpiece for his ramblings and random thoughts. Make his day and give him some comments!

Hookers on Stilts: Discovered this one via myspace. I like reading blogs by people I don't know. Sassy and brash!

Neal Pollack's The Maelstrom: I love Pollack's book satirizing music journalism and the myth making of Rock music. I have also loved his recent New York Times Magazine essays no matter what Jeremy Paquette says! I am very much looking forward to his new book on parenthood. This blog had the best coverage of the James Fry fiasco I saw.

TV/Video Game Champion Steven Berlin Johnson: My fave pop theorist has good posts and good links.

Myspace Obsession

So I will admit that I am hopelessly lost in the world of myspace. I haven't and won't start a personal account but do maintain the Hecklers site and it has provided me with hours of useless fun. I have listened to tons of great songs, reconnected with old friends, created a superficial social network, aided my love of snooping, and given me yet another thing to obsessively update. The refresh button is my best friend. Click here for the Hecklers page, and please be our friend.

Coming Attractions!

More Winter Olympic thoughts. So far I have been semi into it, maybe not yet to my norm craziness. The Hockey will get me going. I do love the Red Tomato, best story weekend 1! And I could feel Youthlarge's glee as Apollo couldn't even make the final 1500 short track race.

The full Chris Larry band discography: From Papa Smurf and the Shrooms to the Hecklers looking back on a rock career of futility.

Yours in ADD/ADHD
Chris Larry

Work A Day Kill A Day

2006-02-03T15:10:00.000-05:00

Check out this amazing All Things Considered piece about General Motors Job Banks. Its where they pay laid off employees to not work. They have the option of doing community outreach work at union wage or sit in a room. This long piece looks at all angels of this mindbending story. Listen, marvel and comment below!

LISTEN

Yours in lazyness,
Chris Larry

Hecklers News!!!!

2006-02-01T18:19:00.000-05:00

So a few new updates in the ever mundane world of The Hecklers:

Our My Space page is freshly updated with songs and what not. Check out our friends like Nancy and the Knockers, Four Deadly Questions and even Joan Jett and Nikki Corvette!

Also our new 7" single is out on Go Ape Records

And said new single has actually gotten a few spins like on WFMU and East Village Radio's Dot Dash Show.

I even know of three additional stations it has gotten spins! Wild......

Also apparently we got a mixed review in the issue of Maximum Rock and Roll but did make the reviewers top 10 of the issue, havent read yet though....will post the review here when I get it!

Yours in budget rock,
Chris Larry Heckler

Wasn't I A Rock Scribe At One Time Part Deu!

2006-01-24T14:45:00.000-05:00

Last night I stayed up to late updating my itunes and ipod software and loading like 15 new albums onto my robot friend. I also finally took the podcast plunge and started subscribing to a few. Currently I am sitting in the Bank Street College of Education library killing time, so why not take a trip to random again. At least Listmaker enjoys it! And just to prove how Rock and Roll I am I just got asked to turn down my Ipod, which is the second time that has happened in this stuffy old bibloteca!

Gram Parsons Juanita Return of the Grevious Angel.
This cut comes curtesy of the promo only disc that comes with the tribute album containg all the original versions covered on the regular release. This release is highly collectible now, fetching $50 on ebay. NICE!

The Tyde Blood Brothers Rough Trade Records Sampler
This song is the whoa-is-me tale of never was rockers flogging the dead horse dreams of Rock stardom. The Tyde is basicaly the alter ego of The Beachwood Sparks. Their are two brothers at the heart of both bands who take turns leading/supporting eachother under the two monikers. Great choice following Parsons....the ipod is spooky that way...I need to name my ghost in the machine...I shall call him CAL.

The No-Talents French Girl Want Some More
Two posts, two No-Talents songs....go figure. The title describes the band perfectly, only plural. From the same French punk rock tree as Steve & the Jerks...its a very small tree.

The Penetrators Teenage Lifestyle Basement Anthology
One of my fave discoveries of 2005. These retards were the Syracuse, NY chapter of the 70's Proto Punk Revolution. Very Dictators/Gizmos. Always funny, always rocking always poorly played and sung. All key ingrediants for me.

Soloman Burke Can't Nobody Love You If You Need Me
Soloman is a living legend, and child producing maching I think his sperm output between children and grandchildren is in the triple digits. Soloman might be my fave of all the 60's soul legends. His Joe Henry produced comeback on Anti a few years back is on of the best albums of the 2000's.

The Bryds Lady Friend Box Set disc 2
Lilting psychadelic ballad with all the byrdisms in a cool 2 min 38 seconds. Who says lady friend nowadays. Someone should bring that back.

Go To Blazes Why I Drink Rig Rock Juke Box
In my alt country hey days of 94-96 I loved this song by this D.C. barband. Now I kind of think its sucks. Def a canidate to come off CAL when I need the space.

The Chiffons Nobody Knows Whats Goin On In My Head But Me One Kiss Can Lead To...Rhino Girl Group Box Set
Turn off the computer, walk out side, knock over a bodega and use the cash to go buy this NOW! Or call in some favors and bloodoaths to get one from the "industry" like I did. This is the best box set OF ALL TIME! I am planning on writing up a whole post on this at some time.

Mayflies USA Sodium Pentothal
I used to hate this band. Than I saw the the light, maybe it was old age, maybe they just got better, maybe it was that the asshole owner of Luna Lounge stopped talking about them to me when I was a record jerk at Stooz. Whatever. This song dates back to the era I thought they sucked but this is now one of my favorite songs on CAL. Very M. Sweet/Teenage Fanclub which is a-ok in my view, they even mention Tuesday Weld (Girlfriend cover vixen) in the song....coincidence?

The Candy Snatchers Haunted Road S/T
I guess CAL wanted to shake things up with a punch to the face! These hooligans represent an era of my life that has pased, so their drunk, coke fueled rock and rants are like weathered photos now. Not really enjoyed in the fullest in the Bank Street Library......ah the old days...

Dale Watson Never Ever Dreamland
This guy should be a king on country radio, but then I again I should be the editor of Rolling Stone. Some things just don't work out and were'nt suppossed to anyway. Like the song says "Never Ever". Dale croons it Merle Haggard style and writes great songs. Check it out, if your doors swing that way.

Yo La Tengo My Little Corner of the World Gilmore Girls Soundtrack
One of the most romantic songs in the indie rock cannon. Basically same music as "Dream A Little Dream" but who cares. If you listened close enough this gem played during the cocktail period at my wedding. OK you can all puke now.

The Penatrators Sweet Soul Music (Live) Basement Anthology
A beautifuly inept cover of this soul classic. Sad to listen to b/c of the lines "do you like Lou Rawls" and "do you like Wilson Pickett" as both have died in the last few months.

Zodiac Killers Feed It To Your Mom The Most Thrilling Experience
This is some negativity in a 52 second blast. This band thrives on bad attitude. God luv'em!

Soloman Burke If You Need Me If You Need SB Anthology
Burke's biggest hit. This kind of music makes like America.

The Mummies Justine Never Been Caught
I skipped this, not b/c I don't love it, but b/c if I can't listen at earsplitting volume, whats the point!

Fountains of Wayne I Know You Well Out of State Plates
This is from a FoW oddities 2 CD collection that came out last year. This song has goofy mushy romantic connotations between me and the old ball and chain. No I am not sharing!

Arthur Gunter Baby Let's Play House Music City Rhythm & Blues
This amazing shuffle blues track comes to me curtesy of a great 2 CD comp that looks at the soul heritage of Nashville, TN. I love this album. The Country Music Hall of Fame also has an exhibit with the same theme. I think this release serves as the audio catalogue. Also contains some lines the Beatles stole for their Rubber Soul closer "Run For Your Life." The lyrics, spooky guitar picking and party rhythm makes this one of the best songs endorsing a paternal society I have ever heard. Male dominance is cool if this is the soundtrack!

The Shazam Gettin' Higher Magnet New Music Sampler
I need to get this bands albums. I worship at the feet of this 70's rawk throw back song. Think Badfinger or Thin Lizzy crossed with the nuggets box set. Amazing chourses, very sing along. This was the one song they played at Little Stevens Gragage Rock festival 2 summers ago and me and Heath Haynes were in heaven. Mary and I play this song 3 times in a row every road trip we take. I just started the song again, b/c once is never enough. Is that Will Farrell on cowbell......."Rock and Roll is All I Got" Sing it brother!

OK I gotta sign off, the librarian just asked if I could stop beating a rythm on the keyboard and my pathetic energy bar on CAL is running dangerously low....need enough juice for the ride home

Gettin Higher Everyday,
Chris Larry

Wasn't I Rock Scribe at One Time?

2006-01-19T16:34:00.000-05:00

Most of the music listening in my life is on my ipod, on constant random. I dump new songs and albums onto it regularly but I never seem to listen to an artist/band/album in one listen. Just set it to random and let fly. For this reason its difficult for me to say what I am listening to at any one time, my life is an algorythm. And I like that so here is a recent recap, MAS-Style.

Lou Barlow Monkey Begun Emoh:
This album is suprisingly good, at least when I hear one track about once every 7.5 days. This song features simple chord progressions, toy piano and sullen vocals, shocker.

Bad Brains I and I Survive Banned in D.C.
HC legends classic reggea left turn, great guitar playing and political lyrics....like a good version of Rage Against the Machine. I much prefer the more Reggea flavored Bad Brains stuff, sometimes their Hard Core stuff is to aggro for my 33 year old years.

Graham Parker Vanity Press Songs of No Consequence
You can have your Elvis Costello, i'll take the perpetually bitter Parker. He now records on Bloodshot records and has released two great albums that could bitch slap EC's last 20 years of input. This rocker features the Figgs on back up band (as does the entire album) and skewers the publicty crazy entertainment press. All my fave elements, jangly guitars, mean spirited lyrics and pretty harmonies.

The Ponys Trouble Trouble Laced With Romance
This album i liked, thought was kind of lame, accusssed of plagerism, rediscovered, now love. In that order. Their new album has so far dissapointed, but who knows maybe I need to have the same kind of metamorphising relationship as I did with this one. Trouble Trouble features everything that makes this band good.

The No Talents I Don't Wanna Grow Up Want Some More!
As today brings another semester of graduate school, I couldn't agree more with this sentiment. French blasts of estrogen punk.

Deadly Snakes I Can't Take It I'm Not Your Soldier.
Canadian rock band produced by Greg Oblivion. Great album of balls out bar punk and roll. Organ player is a lunatic. Always thought of these dudes as Canadian Greenhornes. This track is a great snotty call & response number.

Paul Kelly If I Could Start This Day Again Nothing But A Dream.
I wish Paul Kelly, the Go Betweens and Graham Parker would tour together, "One Aussie, a Kiwi and some english bloke Tour." I don't know why, I just think it would work. This is one melencholoy tune by this long time songwriter. Makes you want to go back to bed. This album is a great little gem released by Mooney's old syndicate SpinArt.

FM Knives 20/20 Useless and Modern
Matt Army turned me on to this outfit. Thanks big guy! Great bratty pop punk. Very Edxploding Hearts. This song never draws the "next button."

Thin Lizzy Whiskey In the Jar Some collection...
Hands down, best Irish Rock and Roll band of all time. Cause of the "Great Phil Lynott Riot at Stooz Records circa 1998" This remake of a traditional Irish folk song is so good little ink need be shed. The lead guitar in this version is melodic perfection.

John Fogerty She's Got Baggage Deja Vue All Over Again
This album rocks. Fogerty is a legend. This track finds JF channelling Joey and Johnny Ramone. No seriously, "Hey Ho Say It Ain't So/She Called Me Up and Than Put Me On Hold" Huge power chords, chanting, downstroked guitars and funny mental patient lyrics. Deja Vue All Over Again was one of the funniest albums of 2005.

John Doe Mama Don't Forever Hasn't Happened Yet.
My wife is his publicist. Its rare I actually like a record/artist she works (sorry hun...) but this album is great and def his best solo album since his first "Meet John Doe" (an album I also love.) This song is very late period arericana X. Soaring girl/boy harmonies strummed guitars and urgent energy. Thanks John for allowing me not to lie to my wife!

Mathew Sweet I Love You Kimi Ga Suki
This tune is from his Japanese fan club album. Was eventually issues here as well. One of his best albums in 15 years! If your an unapologetic fan of his, as I am, this song/album is great pay off! I just read he is doing an album of 60's pop duets with Sussanna Hoffs of the Bangels. I can't wait!

The Byrds Roll Over Bethoven Disc 2 Byrds Box Set
I LOVE the Byrds, love this song. Don't love this version.

Sloan The Rest of My Life A Sides Win
Another tour I would actually leave house for: Sloan and Foutains of Wayne. Sloan would headline because they have a more dynamic stage show. I have all of Sloans albums, but being as they are a great singles band this collection is like free sex with a hooker, just plain fun! These dudes are mega stars in Canada and they have the hooks and choruses to prove it. Check out the bonus DVD that comes with this release. They make GREAT videos.

The Mummies The Ballad of Iron Eyes Cody Never Been Caught
Ah the Mummies, how great were thee. This instrumental keeps the instrumental tradition of song titles you wish had lyrics. I love how on this CD version you can still hear the needle and vinyl noise.

Chris Bell I Am the Cosmos DIY Come Out and Play American Power Pop
This song needs no comments.

MTX Elizabeth or Fight Yesterday Rules
This album confuses me Have Mr. T Experience broken up, changed their name, why didnt Dr. Frank just go solo. This confusion hinders me from enjoying, especially this song.

OK have to stop, willcontinue later!

Chris "Captain Random" Larry

Somoan Power!!!!!

2006-01-18T00:06:00.000-05:00

So alas after a valiant 6 game surge the mighty Washington Redskins have fallen. The season was a rollercoaster redskins nation has yearned to ride for fifteen years. So I beamed with pride when I read this section of a Washington Post post season wrap up article about one of my fave players, the new Dave Butz, Joe "Somaon Power" Salvae'a

Defensive tackle Joe Salave'a says he will attempt to avoid surgery for as long as he can. Salave'a played through left plantar fasciitis, and said he performed "self-surgery" that allowed him to play through the injury. He also appeared to have been playing with a fractured toe.

"These guys [Redskins' medical staff] are so cautious," Salave'a said. "They don't let you do anything. I understand it, but every person has different thresholds. Some people can take more pain than someone else. If I could play, there was no way I wasn't going to play, so I did a little surgery myself. I'm okay."

How hysterical is that. He is my boy! Self surgery?!?!? Reminds me of how I used to dig out ingrown toenails with a protractor in high school. He is one tuff dude, this same injury sidelined Mark Price for his entire Bullets/Wizards career.

Somoan Power also a few weeks back celebrated a big hit against the panty waste Giants by lifting his leg to psuedo-pee like the mutt he is. I can't believe I have to wait until next August to see him and his teamates get back in the pits and make us forget 1992/3.

Ut Oh the Box is Open....

2005-12-22T00:21:00.000-05:00

So I recently heard the founder of a new web startup on Rachel Maddow's (the best host on Air America) Air America Show. He was some dude who had worked on the music genome project and just launched a new website Pandora that used the technology. This website is amazing, go to it right now and start playing! You type in a artist or song and then based on that it starts playing songs you may like based on some algorithm i can't even hope to understand or explain. Once the tracks start flying you can vote thumbs up or down which further tells the program what to throw at you. When you give a song a thumbs down it skips it! You can also add the song to a favorites list to catalogue stuff you like and discover. The site also has easy one click buttons to amazon, itunes and all music guide for your buying and researching needs. Its just a ton of fun!!!!!!!!

Its free to start an account and it saves your stations as presets once you've started the feed, so later it will remember what you have already done.

I started two stations, one off the Dead Boys Sonic Reducer and another of Bobby "Blue" Bland.

They also have a blog that gives updates and allows users to give feedback.

Yours in Digital Music,

Chris Larry

Do you wanna see something really scary...

2005-12-06T18:08:00.000-05:00

I normally love kid Rock -n- Roll bands, and The Langley School Music Project changed my life, but this new one I have stumbled across is beyond freaky. I have been waking up in cold sweats since I checked out this site.

Ladies and gentlemen let me introduce to you....

PRUSSIAN BLUE!!!!!!!!!

Also as someone who does love Nordic legends and myths I am so sick of this imagery being ripped off by these white supremist assholes. I might start a counter movement to save the honor of raping vikings, incestuos gods and Valhalla from the cheap imagery of "Euro-Centric" hate groups....

One day I am gonna write up my views on pre-christian heathen culture and how the suppression/oppression of it by post-christian western civilitation is the reason white people have ruined the world...but that will have to wait...

Chris "the multicultural Viking" Larry

A National Struggle Against Republican Extremism

2005-10-19T16:17:00.000-04:00

George W. Bush may be right. We are locked in a death match with global extremism. “Compromise” and “unity” are viewed quitter’s words. Ideologues dot the globe like capitals cities; the world feels poised for eruption. The national front of this mythical struggle has been washed upon our shores as the government of the United States of America crumbles like a sand art at high tide. Just as citizens struggle for breath beneath the toxic bathwater drawn by the Grover Norquist crowd, we may be finally awakening from the ravages of economic extremism championed by the Republican corporatists. Whether it is the cronyism of FEMA stooge “Brownie”, the back room politics of suspended Speaker of the House Tom Delay or the Martha Stewart style insider trading of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, this robber baron trickle down is drowning the rest of us.

What kind of government do we want? Throughout our history there have been flashpoint events that bring this question to the lips of the body politic and force a reexamination of what “we” believe and what “we” practice. The Constitutional Convention, Black Tuesday, the March on Washington, and the Cuban Missile Crises, are but a few obvious examples of cultural crossroads that have guided our young country in its march to supposed maturity. But what all these flashpoint events and their many cousins have in common is that the ideological framework of our country was questioned, changed, broken and rebuilt. In these historical moments not only did our leaders, lawmakers, artists and spiritual advisors grapple in this debate, but “we the people” lived and died by because of them. Hurricane Katrina and its deadly aftermath have blown through the gulf coast ushering in another of these national civic struggles that will clearly define the coming national discourse and policy choices.

The last five years have raced by like the landscape outside of a moving train. Momentous events pummeled us: September 11th, the Iraq war, global natural disasters, disputed elections, the move to the information age, the legitimizing of terrorism, corporate scandals and the rest of the never ending loop of almost surreally bad news. This torrent of events, each at the time seemingly digested and survived, is having their compacted impact now on the coattails of the most severe disaster in United States history. Katrina ripped open the scabs that crustily covered the wounds of poverty, race, class and just what the hell the government’s responsibility is to its people. What kind of government do we want? What it is it there for? What does it do best? Who does it serve? Who is it made up of? Why do we need it? Is it doing the job its intended? We as a people have rubber stamped many of the legislative and policy initiatives that have created the current situations we find ourselves involved with, whether it’s the sand trap of Iraq, the chasm in our economic system or the inability of government to protect and serve.

In the continual Groundhog Day hangover of the 2004 presidential election Democrats have examined the concept of “framing” in an attempt to understand how people are lead to vote against their own interests. Watching our fellow Americans suffer on television news has done what no linguistic think tank can and given us, the proper frame: when government doesn’t work properly people die. Suddenly, why it matters to vote and stay informed has a face and a story and a consequence. But wait! The uber-ironic, cynicism as vice, desensitized and doped version of myself reminds me “all politicians are the same man, there’s no difference between democrats and republicans/liberals and conservatives. Nothing matters.” I have to ignore that guy, its no longer the utopian Clinton years when society and I could afford to pretend Clinton was the problem. In retrospect Clinton, down to his National Enquirer tastes, had a much saner application of abuse of power: maybe an expensive haircut, semantics arguments on the word “is”, pardoning a few good ole’ boys family members, and maybe getting a little "strange." The same wink-wink crap we all do, or, would if we could. Call’em perks. But Since the 1994 Contract For America Republican Revolution it’s been wholesale looting of the public coffers via graft, no bid contracts and industry friendly legislation to the tune of trillions of dollars. Why do they always destroy their own countries?

The 21^th century Republicans (party of Lincoln they are not) currently in power don’t have the interests of people in mind while they govern. That is deadly obvious not only in disaster response but in all facets of government. Beginning with the Reagan Revolution there has been an attempt (and a damn successful one at that) to repeal the late 19^th and entire 20^th century. It has been all out assault on the ideology and reforms of the progressive era, and the New Deal while most recently dismantling the good government policies of the Clinton administration (practices like balanced budgets, daily Al Queda briefings, professionals in top infrastructure jobs, and tough pollution standards, just to name check a few…). Rampant deregulation, the castrating of social programs, the vilifying of welfare (unless its corporate welfare for savings & loans, defense contractors and airlines), the breaking of labor unions, the politics of race bating and the manipulation of religious ideals have all become the norm circa1980. Even in the last five years we have seen the rich white dudes in power start wars of choice, belittle human rights, shift the tax burden from the elite to the working class, enact bushels of pro-corporate legislation and ignore scientific realities in favor of the potent combo of cash and dogmatic morality.

Are you pro-people or Pro-Corporation and what side do you think our government should be on? The American experiment has been a messy and painful, but the debates, conflicts and lessons have slowly elevated our society to meet the ideals mapped out in our bill of rights and constitution. It’s not naïve to dream of a country that is a lighthouse to the world, that is better at protecting, serving and representing its population, as cornball as that sounds. Our collective social history is moving us toward building a safety net that values the health and success of all the people. I am not afraid to buy into the myth of America because the potential, the possibility for positive is so strong. However I fear I hear the halting gears of progress and that “we the people” have been left systematically marginalized the past 25 years, instead content to gorge on fast food culture and the rhetoric of a me first mentality shackled on us by the corporate bottom line. The safety net is steadily and deliberately being cut away, and we the voting public must share in the blame. Perhaps its not to late, perhaps I am fatally optimistic but I believe that the civic snooze button has been hit for the last time with Hurricane Katrina as our blisteringly loud alarm.

The study of history turns up many collateral benefits of calamities, disasters and human folly. Plagues bring medical breakthroughs, poverty breeds ingenuity, suffering of others teaches the masses lessons on empathy and charity. What positives will Katrina force upon us? Is it too early to ask? It already has reintroduced us to thinking critically about our leaders and giving prosecutors and legislators the authority to start handing out indictments, making arrests and changing laws. It has embarrassed the fourth estate enough to wake them from the post 9/11 comas and start investigative reporting again. Even the most mundane and safe news sources now reads like a daily crime blotter of Republican wrong doings. We as voters unfortunately still have to wait over a year to get to the polls, which leaves many months for the cupboards, storefronts and coffers to still be pilfered. Yet in this time those who believe in progressive, or democratic or humanitarian or just plain sensible ideals need to be building coalitions and establishing common ground with reality based core values.

America is so diverse in meaning that we all find stuff to hate, value and cling to. So I have always dealt with the concept of America by defining it for myself and having it represent a place I wish/want/daydream it to be. And with this concept I love America. When I think of the damage that America causes and represents I try to remember Americans like the Green Mountain Boys, Harriet Tubman, Bill Monroe, Louise Armstrong, Chuck Berry, Thurgood Marshall, Robert Kennedy, John Steinbeck, Bell Hooks, Sally Ride and Ron Kovic . To think about the momentous civic and cultural advancements in less then three hundred years of development and let these pathways serve as a roadmap to reclaiming our country. It works for me anyway.

Hard Ponderin' Larry's 4 Minute Poltical Anaylsis #1,162

2005-04-29T10:14:00.000-04:00

It dawned on me that there are negatives to the 20 year dominance of the activist right wing message machine, and I don't even mean the general decline of civilization. As the recent polls, news cycle and white house chess moves show the taint taste of a national mood shift has occured. Now all that jr. high level recap is not my new idea, what is, is the naming of the New Silent Majority: NORMAL THINKING PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! Every poll we see about these counter-revolutionionary agendas by Republican wackos like ending fillabusters or killing judges, common sense and deep thought seem to be prevailing.....Hmm I have always assumed common sense and empathy were on the outs, but maybe we are all just cowed by pencil neck bully pulpit, milionare CEO Kenny-Boy Kountry Klub Komandos. But lately the ole' american common people are saying. "whoa relax with all this messin with ideas like "Sepeartion of Powers", "Seperation of Church and State", "Checks and Balances" and that "Judges Be Above Politics"........even the high school drop outs, roofers, waitreses and bank branch managers remember their 5th grade Social Studies, I mean we are a patriotic country, we value the Bill of Rights, Constitution, Declaration of Independence et. al so are we now, however meekly through internet polls and gas withdrawl, saying to these neo mccarthy Jimmy Swaggert Mr. Burns types, hey don't tread on me..?..!

Who knows, gotta jet........

Yours in the majority (just dont ask me to explain the election),
Hard Ponderin' Larry

New Blogs Here! Get Your New Blogs here!

2005-04-27T19:57:00.000-04:00

My own private blogesphere grows:

Coffe Flats Bloggers Guild Illini correspondents:

Planbreaker: Missives From the Midwest

df: My Life in Purgatory

Ee is a new friend who prefers a cloak of mystery. I am super into her Right Again! blog. An idea so good I'd steal it if i could get away with it...One secret that I will reveal is that she invented the use of "wicca" (i.e. thats so wicca, derived from the root Wiccan aka pagan witch religon) as a verb. Feel free to use and adapt

Ee: Right Again!
Ee: Crazy Talk

Also let me say an official goodbye from the first Coffe Flats Bloggers Guild's quitter, Whiskey Drinker. He tickled us with his brilliance and then left us hanging like the Man Called Horse.

"My daily fixes" will be updated to reflect these developments

The Public Editor

Nats Win! Kids Rock! Republicans Suck! Jeff S. Strikes Back

2005-04-06T23:24:00.000-04:00

Nats Fever Baby and I have caught it!!!!!!!!! I have waited my whole life for DC baseball and tonight the Nationals kicked some serious Phillies ass!!!!!!!!!! Wilkerson does it style by hitting for the cycle!

My Fave Nats:

1. Nick Johnson: Love his old school vibe and his socks. Hope he stay healthy
2. Brad Wilkerson: The superstar
3. Jose "Bad Attitude" Giullen: Hopefully he wont deck Frank Robinson
4. Brian Schnieder: Defense wins baby!
5. Terminal Sledge: Every team needs an underdog

Great article in the Washington Post about a "school of rock" in Bethesda, MD. Great band names by these tweeners: Suburban Rage and Wanted By the State. Sure beats Soccer practice. Don't miss the photo gallery.

(PS: Lots of Washington Post links, you will need a free acount)

So the Republicans have to fess up to the Schiavo memo. Between this and the threatening of Judges they have had a bad week, finally. These idiots need to be stoped. The Dems must start having some guts and going on the attack. In my opinion they have a shot at regaining congress in the mid term elections but they MUST START NOW. PLEASE DEMOCRATS WAKE UP!!!!! HOWARD DEAN WHERE ARE YOU???????????

Squids, Snakes & Sharks: I know Jeff S. wants me to quit yapping about him but his recent blog move to nature reporting is one of the best things I have seen on the web in awhile. Here is hoping he keeps it up. The combo of amazing pics, experts and sharp writing have me clicking on his blog for much more than just a shot of rage to wake up in the morning.

Wow just noticed what a D.C.-CENTRIC blog entry this is. NATS BABY!

Yours in Jose Vidro,
Hard Rooting Larry

Doc Fest!

2005-04-06T09:48:00.000-04:00

I know most of my 12 readers might be interested in The Museum of Television & Radio upcoming Television Documentary Festival so here is the dirt:

Opening Satellite SeminarTuesday, April 12 at 6:00 p.m.The Passion of the Partisan: What Is the Future of the Political Documentary?

New York PremiereWednesday, April 13 at 6:00 p.m. The Last Mogul: The Life and Times of Lew Wasserman

PremiereThursday, April 14 at 6:30 p.m.FDR: A Presidency Revealed

New York PremiereFriday, April 15 at 6:00 p.m. Ring of Fire: The Emile Griffith Story

A Workshop Cosponsored by the International Documentary Association (IDA)Saturday, April 16 at 2:00 p.m.The Art of the Documentary Pitch: How to Turn an Idea into a Reality

Festival CenterpieceSaturday, April 16 at 6:00 p.m. An Evening with Taylor Hackford and a Screening of Bukowski

New York PremiereMonday, April 18 at 7:00 p.m. Red Hook Justice

Wednesday, April 20 at 4:30 p.m. DOCU-JAM: A Youth Documentary Showcase
In Association with Downtown Community Television Center (DCTV) New York

PremiereWednesday, April 20 at 7:30 p.m. Pucker Up: The Fine Art of Whistling

PremiereThursday, April 21 at 7:00 p.m.I'm Still Here: Real Diaries of Young People Who Lived During the Holocaust

Documentary Dialogue 2005 New York PremiereFriday, April 22 At 6:00 p.m. Plagues & Pleasures on the Salton Sea

Personally here is my intrest ranked in order, let me know if anyone wants to join me:

Plagues & Pleasures on the Salton Sea In a harsh desert valley in a forgotten corner of California lies a glimmering blue jewel, the Salton Sea. Along its desolate shores stand boarded-up motels, half-flooded vacation homes, and miles of sunbaked dead fish. Plagues & Pleasures blends the economic, political, and environmental issues affecting the sea with an offbeat portrait of the eccentric people who populate its shores. It is an epic tale of fantastic real estate ventures and failed boomtowns, inner-city residents fleeing to white small-town America, eternal optimism thriving among the remains of what was once hailed as the "Riviera of the West," and the subjective notion of success and failure amid the landscape of the American Dream. (2005; 65 minutes)

Red Hook Justice Documentarian Meema Spadola explores the bold new approach to judicial reform that is taking place in an experimental criminal court in a Brooklyn neighborhood plagued by an endless cycle of unemployment, poverty, and crime. Since opening its doors in 2000, the Red Hook Community Justice Center has sought to give misdemeanor offenders a second chance through drug treatment programs, job training, and community service—a radical alternative to imprisonment that has been hailed by the U.S. Department of Justice as "a standard bearer for the entire country." In tracing the ups and downs of several Red Hook defendants and staffers over the course of two years, the film shows the genesis of what may become a revolutionary new approach to dealing with crime in America. (2005; 57 minutes)
Produced and directed by Meema Spadola. A First Run/Icarus Films presentation of a Sugar Pictures production.

DOCU-JAM: A Youth Documentary Showcase Across the country young people are documenting their lives and interests with video cameras. This year's Festival spotlights seven documentary shorts that explore identity, stereotypes, addiction, sex, cultural heritage, activism, and family. After the screenings, the youth producers will discuss the impact that making documentaries has had on their lives and future plans.

An Evening with Taylor Hackford and a Screening of Bukowski: Self Explanatory......

I Know some people don't read comments so...

2005-03-22T00:36:00.000-05:00

I originally wrote this in the comments in my last post but I figured maybe it would be good to bump it to the bigs and keep the discourse going! Enjoy!

Kfan,

I got your jokes and love your points! I am curious what those 10-15 songs are that you love and why. I have a lot of respect for rap/hip hop, especially its past. But current hip hop/rap is sick to the core and bankrupt of all soul as is modern rnb. Its like rock was in the early 80's. I hate being the "it was better when" guy but this is sadly the case. Here in NYC I see the fallout of modern hip hop on all races and its gross. Also the music stands for nothing and it is creativly used up. Its current stranglehold on tastes and trends is having a disastorus affect. Since U been Gone is a rock song, that is the main reason I like it. And, as I stated in my original post, it is also "rock" in a way that the rock on the charts (like nickelback and the like) is not...ie fun, catchy, danceable, emotional etc. If I hear one more loud/fast eddie vedder rip off OR rnb girl singer with thug guy slogan call & response I think I might walk into a bus. Lately my tastes have been boreing deeper into the vaults as I listen to lots of old country, blues, jazz, soul, classic rock and punk and in a way it DEPRESSES ME. I shouldnt be living in old musty librarys, I wish I could like more modern stuff in all genres (dont get me started on new hipster bands either, they make Lil' John appatizing!)

So I guess thats why, and I am not sure about the rest of the blogosphere, Since U been gone was so refreshing to me because it shook me out of the dusty archives for a few minutes.

Ps: Yo Youthlarge, thanks for getting my back, us HATERS gotta stay together. Respek!

Yours in curmugery,
Old Man Larry

Sing It Baby!

2005-03-16T23:43:00.000-05:00

kc, originally uploaded by chris2040.

I've Been Free For the First Time

2005-03-16T22:24:00.000-05:00

Since U Been Gone

This song is shaking my world like a California muslide. And not the kind your kid sister drinks either. Every day my obsession with this songs multiplies like malware. I have now officially added it to my hard drive and play on repeat, I wait, like meth heads wait for jethro to finish the batch, for that cool Breeders style opening bass riff to break into the estatic chorus where Clarkson lets rip and the bubblegum production begins to pogo. It makes me care about music again! Am I sick? I mean I have a new 60's psych record by the band Gandalf that I just bought sitting right hear in a bag next to me but I just want to hear this 3 minute fun park ride. This spunky Texan maybe has some "it" power that I keep reading about in the pages of Star Magazine and US Weekly. Listen, I despise Anerican Idol and their Kings Dominion stage show act as much as any card caring music snob, but at least this dynamo proved her stuff in a talent show rather than be annointed pop music star by that creepy Simpson Dad or the Disney Channell.

I tell you what, and will fight any man, woman, child in a frontier mountain man eye gauging, ear bitin wratling match to prove it, Clarkson is sure more catchy and intresting than Jet. I love her affected voice, when she moans "yeah yeah" it drips with teenage lust, and isa fuckin rock and roll song already not some simpy warmed up rnb, or depressinly agro testes fest like most of the ham fisted boy rock bands that dot the map like starbucks.

I mean I have been so sick about this that I have been scouring the net looking for other critical praise (and finding it by the way...) download other songs of hers, and DVRing her appearance on the Today show where she does a bad ass stripped down full band acoustic version of Since U Been Gone (I'd like to see that doppleganger Ashlee Simpson do that). What is happening to me....help please.....come save me.....

Your in Bubblegum maddness,
HWL

Too Much Fear and Loathing I guess......

2005-02-22T12:20:00.000-05:00

I don't quite know what to say about the death of Dr. Gonzo/Raul Duke/Uncle Duke/Hunter S. Thompson. He is the reason I like to write. The reason I like to spew bile and bitch. The reason I don't like to accept the status quo. The reason I majored in journalism. The reason I love outlandish metaphor. The reason I still respect Rolling Stone. The reason why I love the Warren Zevon song Lawyers Guns and Money. I am not up for writing some long eulogy or some hack job at coopting his voice (after all didn't he teach us to respect our own voice no matter how much strange wierdness it embodies...) instead I just want to say goodbye and thank you for the wonderful journalism/prose/fiction/literature/cheap attacks and all around outlaw bad craziness.

I have yet to decide how I want to have a private memorial. I could watch the extras on the Criterion collection version of the fear and loathing movie, I could re read a classic book, I could buy his new book, I could buy Where the Buffalos Roam on DVD, I could scour the net for others thoughts, I could keep peacocks as pets, I could tie on one last classic bender before fully retiring into married bliss, you'll have to stay tuned. I am basically just thinking out loud. A lot has been said in the last 24 hours about how HST was really an early blogger, and as lame as that sounds I have to admit that when blogging first hit my conscience I was reminded about how they read like Thompson's late night letter and faxes to his varied and diverse friends that have been collected in two volumes of books, a underappriciated addition to his cannon by the way.

The suicide part really bothers me. I have always been a hard liner on the suicide issue (pathetic/so what/cheapway out etc) and if he had died of some glorious overdose, the effects of hardlivin or even just run of the mill old age/diesease I would mourn but figure the wheel of life spins on, but suicide?????? This man who laughed at death from a mpotorcycle on a hairpin turn with a head full of acid and chivas regal? Was the legend and the man so at odds that it finally crushed him. I know Woody Creek was constantly besieged by hipster pilgrims and junkies, I know from his letters that a human bieng exsisted uderneath the grizzled inebriated zietgiest, I also witnessed on an English documentary how in old age he seemed imprisoned by his persona and suffered delusional paranoia. I remember when I watched that a year ago that I was depressed and feel like he needed a hug and a long nap. I guess when I think about what I saw on that doc I understand why he decided to pull a Cobain, but I will admit that I keep hoping his death will be announced as an accident as he cleaned his gun or was playing russian roulette with Tom Wolfe.

For any of you new to his work who now want to check it out here is a quick overview of some of my favorites:

Hell Angels: His first book. Great in a way a bands first album is. Proto-style. A great piece of Journalism that nails the 60's in the way it should be remembered, as a freaky scene. Go fuck yourself Sonny Barger.

Fear and Loathing at the Kentucky Derby: You can go home again! But it helps to bring a limey and the right "perscriptions" (Found in the collection The Great Shark Hunt)

Fear and Loathing at the Superbowl 72: Both the Good Doctor and I live(d) for the NFL. His recent work on Espn.com's Page 2 (see link in my faves) was great football talk that eats the monday morning quaterback for lunch.

The Curse of Lono: Great art, great story. Great look at empire building.

Generation of Swine: Good predictions about the future we are living right now.

I am realizing that this is now longer than the NY Times obit (Sandra Dee got more ink...huh?) so I will wrap it up.

When the going gets wierd the wierd gets shot out of a cannon,

Yours in Gonzo,
Chris Larry

ps editing this would be silly, plenty of mistakes....deal!

The Ghost in the Machine

2005-02-16T09:53:00.000-05:00

I have now become a believer in the truism that machines have souls. Why else would they mock us with their promise of a digital Eldorado and than rabbit punch us with their fickle workings. I can hear the gears, fans and motherboards laughing at me as they break, stall and just choose not to work on demand. And it doesn't matter how much I love and pamper them or even if I ignore and maltreat them, they still act out of their own conscience choosing their actions like mood swings.

Yours in HAL,
HWL

An Open Letter to Jeff Simmermon

2005-02-05T13:31:00.000-05:00

Dear Jeff,

I know we have been in many an e-battle over the years either via email, the WXJM listserve or even the occasional phone exchange, but I am afraid I have to call you out on the carpet once again. Your recent post about the Iraq elections, although engagingly written, was shallow and transparent. These truths have only been proven by your instant glorification of self by immediately turning your new found "blog fame" with conservative net surfers into calls for employment, adds on your blog and your desperate need to be paid for your "art". Any authenticity that you may have strived for by venting your emotional confusion (which I read as shallowness of thinking and proof of Adult ADD ) was immediately lost by your basking in the aftermath. If you do rocket to fame over a week of extra internet hits let it not be forgotten the dead bodies of US and Iraq citizens you will stand on top of for being brave enough to go to a polling center in D.C. and spew your feelings on a blog (hardly a revolutionary idea in 2005 America by the way)

Lets look at your posts after your "big day"

1. More to come: Alerting everyone to how much traffic your getting and the plethora of comments like the masses are watching like a stock ticker. "Look at me", Look at me..."Also you gleefully straddle the fence, most likely to keep the hits coming and stoking the fire of "come over to our side" rhetoric from all sides of the Risk board.

2. Now That the Party is Over: The title says it all on how you feel about your new found acclaim. War as personal party? Finally you have the pulpit! Again here you use stats and proof of relevence to make sure everyone is aware that your bigtime now.

"A lot of people said that they'd bookmark this blog and come back regularly, which is amazing. It also creates a lot of pressure. See, last week I was just preaching to the choir and I could say pretty much any old thing I felt like. More than one of my posts would have been about things I observed in the workplace bathroom. Now the pressures on to be reasonable and intelligent."

What when your friends and family were the only ones who cared you fed them shit writing but now that the same people who endorse torture, vilify gays, control the media and want to control our bedrooms are bookmarking your page the pressure is on? Are we really supposed to feel for you as you question if you can sum up the greatness it will take to bring us all together politically? And the fake "woe is me, what do I do.." act is laughable. Your like the corporate rock band who publicly sweats the sophomore slump to drum up interest.

But the WORST sin of this entry is the egominiacal way you immediately try turn your breakthrough into some kind of J-O-B, so you can be paid for your brilliance. You even give hints of future public soul searching like exploiting the injured soldiers, and the ridiculous idea that anyone cares about your thoughts on the state of the union address.

Also do you honestly think a week from now when instapundit (a group you should look into before enjoying their spotlight by the way) has moved on to some new goosestep, you'll still be a star??? Tell you what, in 3 weeks why don't you post your site stats again for a little compare and contrast.

3. A Bit of business: This a joke right? Have the delusions of grandeur really taken hold this fast? Have the DT's started yet? I like you Jeff, I really do, so I am hoping this is at least half in jest and I will withhold my full rant, benefit of the doubt style.

4. Whoah: I am going to reprint this one in all its glory. Notice the fake modesty of "my little post"

"In addition to the link to InstaPundit, Metafilter picked me up this afternoon. If you're just dying for some more comments and arguments surrounding my little post, have a look.

Also, I've been having such an itch to actually go over there as a journalist myself. While I am not a "real" journalist, I'd love to go see the situation firsthand and write about it. If any of you know a way I can get there as a journalist and have my costs and time off of work covered, let me know."

Did you just ask someone to sponsor you to go to Iraq and blog? That has got to be the biggest fetish rubberneck of all time. Do you really think that one emotive (read: not intellectual or though provoking just "feelings" puked out) blog and a week of attention by a FRAGMENT of the blogosphere anoints you to cover war, famine, death, reconstruction, religious difference....its not a theme park dude!

A comment on this entry sums it up better than I can:

"I'd like to nominate this idea for next year's Darwin awards. With everything that needs to get done over there, and taking into consideration all of the people that really need to be over there but aren't, as well as all of the people desperately trying to get out of there, could there be a more worthless death than a Blogger in Iraq?"

If you want to go over there ON YOUR OWN DIME, be my guest and I will read your posts, but please don't think your wisdom and insight should be underwritten, the Medici's are long dead. You remind me of that suburban Philly kid who went over to Iraq, without being asked or having contacts, to reap his fortune by building cell phone towers or some such. Remember him? He got his head cut off on television. Download the clip and than talk big, while your at it look up "carpetbagging" and "war profiteering"

5. While Life May Be Tough Right Now, Everything's Gonna Be Alright: Outside of proving you own a copy of Bob Marley's Legend, this post also highlights the other avenues your writing talents can be used by hungry content providers. Jeff can do fiction and creative writing and be arty.

Jeff basically I guess I find your motivations shallow and broadcast like the banner adds you plan to post all over your site. Your profile begs for you to be discovered, and you announce your goals for fame, money, stardom and travel. Not to mention you link to other high profile sites and blogs looking for recognition and trackback hits (ie Salon and the oh-so 2003 Wonkette.) It makes me question the sincerity of your original post as maybe you thought it would be a good way to drum up some attention to your blog, which previously had just been a spit into the ocean of net babble (not an insult by the way, I view mine the same way.) Even though I do think you were/are genuine, your reaction since has caused me great doubt and angered me. I am not going to tear down your political ideas or your morphing into a conservative butterfly as your new fans see it, but I do ask that you take yourself out of it a bit. The world doesn't owe you anything, and fame isn't found at the morgue.

P.J. O'rourke you are not.

Yours in Flip Flopery,
Chris Larry

P.S. I hope this post gets me some of Jeff's fame....

Extreme Blog Makeover

2005-02-05T01:54:00.000-05:00

Count down begins until Phoebe Agnes Plumley's first bite of Wiz With

2005-02-05T01:36:00.000-05:00

Just in time to see her Daddy's Eagles in the superbowl, Phoebe Agnes Plumley has entered the world. Everyone is healthy and subsisting on from what I can tell rasberry pancakes and meatballs. After they discovered it was a girl Amy P was heard to exult, "Yes we wont be parents to a Jerome, Randall or Buddy!!" Phoebe Cates is reported to be baby P's namesake, lets hope she never has to run into Judge Rienhold!

Phoebe Agnes Plumley

Movie List Pt. 1

2005-02-04T10:47:00.000-05:00

I only saw 19 films of the 2004 year in movies. I am embarrassed in front you, my maker and myself. Excuses are only more wasted karma. Most of what I saw I knew I would like and many held up, so while my quantity is down, quality has at least held the line. I don’t buy this notion that this was a toilet year for movies. It was average at worst, although I admit that the loss of Middle Earth had me feeling empty in my deepest consumer soul.

I have decided to take a throw-back approach and serialize my list on the blog over the next few days and than put the complete list on balgavy.com’s collection for digital posterity. So today…

Comedies:

1) Sideways: What can I add really. Giamatti has been brilliant in any movie since Private Parts. Really kicked About Schmidt’s ass.

2) Starsky & Hutch: Every so often in the dynastic cycle of comedy, groups of performers get known for working well together. We seem to be in the midst of a current bull rush by the Wilson brothers/Will Farrell/Vince Vaughn/Ben Stiller and ilk as they pump out the movies. (I insert cute take on Brat Pack here) I dig it. We also saw this after the little lady and I had endured an all day Pre-Canna class from the 4^th dimension. The old queens Italian couple (both catholics AND previously divorced giving advice on marriage.) The place was packed with like 65 couples. So maybe I was just happy to watching my boy Vince and soak up the brilliant Farrell cameo, which was better than his characters in Elf or Anchorman.

3) Meet the Faulkers: Loved MtP1, liked MtP2. The baby genius and dog/cat stuff is disheartening, but the rest all works. Dustin Hoffman has not been this good in a movie since Tootsie. Have you seen the Terri Polo nudie pics. Yikes! Long way from Sports Night.

4) Dodgeball: How can I hate this movie as it was central to a Summer Dan & Liesure Time Larry outing? Vince was under used. Ben Stiller was named for like 5 razzies this year, and he is way overexposed but I still think he is funny, in fact funnier than he was like 10 years ago with garbage like Reality Bites. He is in 5 of my 6 comedies this year AND I liked 4 of’em. His over the top skit comedy character performance is my favorite of his many recent roles. Jason Bateman was good as was the ESPN parody. Rip Torn is always a sentimental favorite of mine, remember Summer Rental? Classic.

5) Anchorman: Paul Rudd is short. This movie is a cousin of the SNL character as entire movie genre. Still loved it though, so wont quibble. Gang fight scene was highlight as was Jack Black cameo. I get the JB thing a lot, which is dualy flattering and depressing. But as Mary will testify I say “that’s how I roll” almost as much as I claim to be a “wildman” so she flipped when he spit out that classic line.

6) Along Came Polly: OK give Stiller a Razzie on this one.

Comedies I am shamed for not seeing yet: I Heart Huccabees, Life Aquatic, Shaun od the Dead, Baadasssss, Mean Girls, Saved, Napolean Dynamite.

I will be desperately trying to catch up and maybe will do updates if viewed previous to Oscars.

Next Up: Drama!

Yours in Flash Gordon,
HWL

2005-02-02T11:30:00.000-05:00

OK quick hit style since I am at work...

And yes it is officially work now as I have been hired to be the Video conferencing/Distance learning teacher at my new home away from home the Museum of Television & Radio!!!! This is only a part time job, but it does mean that I will be paid for two of the three days of my internship and will stay on the staff past my Bank Street internship. Suffice it to say I am crazy siked. Any teachers out there with VC capability lets TALK! We have programs on animation, muppets, Women on TV, Civil Rights on TV, Vietnam on TV and Advertising! Finally I will be the TV talking head I have always dreamed of...now time to lose some weight as I have put on the married 50 pounds. I never realized all married people did was eat.

In my research for my new position I have discovered a great new theorist and theory, Connectivism. I am falling hard for it. Here is a the dude's blog elearnspace.

From his blog I also discovered an article by Christine Rosen in the New Atlantis about 'Egocasting' which is a strong argument against DVR's/Ipod's/Remote controls and On Demand cable, all things I happen to worship. However Ms. Rosen's piece is excellent and thought provoking, lets get some chatter up about it!

Coming Attractions:

I am going to totally rework the look of my blog, add pics and rework my links as I have have tons of new fave blogs, hopefully superbowl Sunday morning this will happen. Any suggestions...the way it is now sucks.

Movie list is on its way, I will post as blog entry. Kind of different format as I rank by genre. Will hopefully get link from balgavy.com when its done.

Thoughts on Iraq election, and some commentary on the phenom which is the Jeff Simmermon's blog entry about his conversion to imperialism.

Yours in media literacy,
HWL

2005-01-26T10:33:00.000-05:00

I am back baby!

I got the student teaching behind me and now I have moved on to my internship at the Museum of Television and Radio which gives me more computer time to write and read blogs. So I promise to be a more frequent contributer!!!!!! Sorry for my long break, life happens so get off my back!!!!!!!!!!!

Also the election and Iraq and bieng poor and the redskins and winter all had me so BILED out I couldn't even spew but I am feeling more myself recently so get ready. Also I have to break the habit of feeling like each blog has to be hit out of the park (almost fantasy baseball season!) and just do quick hits and links like everyone else.

One sad note is that I retired my Tmobile Sidekick because of the bill. I still stand by the fact that it was great and a good bargain, but the Tmobile 1 broke constantly and I couldnt afford the Tmobile 2.......instead I have the DVR and Sirius Satellite Radio so its a good trade of. I love both and I can always email, IM and websurf at any of the three computers I use in my life....so bye bye hand held.....sniffle.....

Let me also say, even though I am using company time to blog, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my internship at MT&R. Everyone on the education staff loves TV, radio, movies, US weekly, Comic Books, History and Record Collecting. I feel like I am home! But I am already getting depressed that this is not my JOB and just and internship. Maybe I can prove that they NEED me on the staff, but of course Blogging and working on the draft of my movie list probably isnt a good way to show that.......

So let me plug an upcoming event: This weekend they are showing the entire series of Wonderfalls which was cancelled after 4 episodes. They will be showing all the unaired episodes. Should be cool but I will be working the Kids animation workshop instead, making flipbooks all day. FUN!

Hard Workin Larry

PS: Movie List coming soon on balgavy.com!

2004-11-17T22:18:00.000-05:00

Don't count me out!

Damn, take a sabatical to balance, grad school, student teaching, a 40 (well...) hour a week job not to mention writing a ton in these pursuits and a brother gets called out to the matt. Lets review, first List maker has been moving in on my Mom, Whiskey Drinker's muse changed, I get no love on my comments, I am bieng dropped to last place on friends links, and Bush gets elected.

I am so depressed about the world in general. Hope is dead, long live gloom. I have read to many fantasy novels and played to much Dungeons & Dragons not to visualize the creeping dark, the endless winter of raping and pilaging. Bust out the plywood and withdraw your money from the bank. I wish I had a battle axe and a crossbow not to mention a few fireball and healing spells. Where is the voice in my head whispering prophecy and direction. You may need god, I need a dungeon master.

I can't believe I haven't been blogging. I beseech you to know in your hearts that I was continually thinking about blogging and sharing my thoughts with you....i can't stress this enough I want a transmitor chip in my head so I can THINK AND POST. I will be a media darling when that happens. I wish I had some howard hughes foundation money so that I could commision that. I know we have the science to pull it off, just like we can cure cancer and drive without draining the earth, we just choose not to. Every red voter who loses someone to a disease that would have beeen wiped out with stem cell research gets no sympathy from me, sorry where were you when I needed your vote dueche bag!

I am so sick of this "well if you liberals didnt ridicule our culture and jesus and mock us maybe you would win"..."There you go again turning off voters ...." Thats BULLSHIT these people, to quote the W, "hate our freedom" and would never vote for Kerry or any moderate/democtrat...its just they got enough of them out of the house to tip the scales. I view, and you wont hear this cracker jack assesment ANYWHERE else, Kerry lost the election in the second debate where Charlie Gibson fed Kerry two straight abortion/right to life questions in a row at the very end. One was a stem cell research question from a far right pro life position, followed up by a federal funds for abortion question. Both of these were policy statements cloaked as questions and set Kerry up to scramble for political answers. As soon as that happened you could hear white trash getting up off their couches to go to the polls.

Oh well game over, 2006 is critical for Dems.

Instant Run-off Voting, get to know it get to love it.

Yours in Rip Van Winckle
LTL

2004-11-15T19:59:00.000-05:00

Lesson #432 on why never show up to early to the club

Ok so I haven't blogged in like 6 months. In that time evil has won, the redsox are victorious in the world series, Mark Brunell crashed Gibbs' homecoming and I have refereed many o' game of booty Tag. But tonight I am moved to reconnect with yo, my limited public.

I am/was in the NYC club Irving Plaza on a friday night waiting to see The Velvet Crush and Mathew Sweet. I already know how dated and antiquated this makes me ao quick snickering. But anyway the wife said the show started early and I wanted to see the Velvet Crush so I am here early, but instead I am witnessing a the winner of a Fox Television contest for a band to do a cover of steeler wheels stuck in the middle with you. The reason bieng fox's syndication reruns of Malcolm in the Middle with you now dropping five days a week. The band is new waved out with eyeliner, skinny ties, hightop hair and swishy rockabilly wear. They sheepishly admit that they are a affiliated with fox and the hit sitcom and launch into their version of the Jerry Raferty (1/2 of the aforementioned steeler wheels. Legend has it that they wrote the song as a dylan parady and it blew up. Best used in Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs) hit. Only the chorus is "now on 5 days a week malcolm in the middle with you." classic.

Once that was over and they could make their art they broght out 2 more new wave goons on keyboard and launched into even more new romantic fashion rock. I am literally living in a john hughes soundtrack. Currently now that I have caught up with real time, they are performing an ode to Love & Rockets the band. Did I already say classic. Now they are covering talking in your sleep. The singer has so much echo on his vocal on his mike its like a kids toy. Seeing bands can be so tedious.

Yours in Ivan Julian,
LTL

2004-11-15T19:55:00.000-05:00

Who Are You?

Hey sorry sorry sorry....I know I have a lot to answer for.....mercy...

But first.......check out my buddy Matt's blog....classic.

Yours in shame,
LTL

2004-09-15T19:08:00.000-04:00

Kitty Kelly and Lou Dobbs sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G.......

Did anyone see Dobbs interview Kitty Kelly on his show today??????? That was some sexual heat for these two geezers. Dobbs gushed about the book like no other talking head since the white house has been threatening da media with firing squads. These two teenagers were making eyes, complimenting eachother, blushing, it was great TV and I got a little turned on.

A few notes on these star crossed lovers:

Lou Dobbs: Could he be the next Walter Cronkite? He is the only anchor who seems to value independent thought. Obviously he is fiscally conservative and has stated he has mainly voted republican, but he has been trasnformed into a crusader for working people and corporate responsiability. Watching him gives me faith in "thinking people" which takes a beating daily and will probably be killed on November 2. Check out his website for a list of companies exporting jobs.

Kitty Kelly: I believe anything she says in her book, and am sure it is a fascinating read. I think its all basically obvious. BUT it only helps defeat Kerry and couldnt be worse timed, it will only cause defending and sympathy for all Bushes, even Neil.

Other Distressing Tidbits from the News Cycle:
1. These forged Bush documents. And yes I think its pretty obvious that they are forged. CBS should be ashamed. Eddy Morrow is doing jumping jacks in his grave. CBS in a rush to shock forgot the last shred of journalistic ethics they were swinging from. BUT dear friends lest you think I am suggesting this is liberal dirty tricks or a liberal media, jump back. This was the work of Bush/republican dirty tricks. They obviously floated these laughable documents under the right ratings-monger noses, knowing the blowback would be intense and ultimately be blamed on Kerry.

OK dinner time More later.......

Yours in my wife's turkey sausage tomato sauce,
Student Teacher Larry

2004-09-01T21:31:00.000-04:00

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM AN ARMCHAIR PUNDIT

Ok, these are off the cuff thoughts as I watch the RNC, no editing....

Don't you love how bad that Reagen tribute was and that they immediately shot to the director of the Reagen library to shill where you could buy it????? They don't even hide the blatant sell job. Go to the web and order now!!!!!!!!!! And this "librarian" claims to be talking to Nancy daily during the convention, they had to get her in there somewhere...

Joe Scarsbourough is so annoying. Read here about his history, including how he probably had an his assistant press secratary whacked after a bad affair. She was found dead in his office while he was a member of congress. This DURING the Chandra Levy mess. He quit congress months after being elected. And landed with his cush job at MSNBC. Read it and make up you mind. Even if he didnt pull a Adrianna on this woman he is still a massive scumbag.

I will admit I do love the patheticaly moderate Chris Mathews. BUT his and MSNBC's coverage is an abomination. When your chief liberal is Ron Reagen Jr, there is a problem. And where did they find this uncle Tom JC Watts. What a joke. Mathews actually spit all over himself rabid dog style today. It was hysterical. Turner & Hooch style. I also love when mathews stands up to interview and talks to the guests sideways. Follow his eyeballs they are always anywhere but looking at the subject and he hiccups his questions out with lots of disdain. The problem with Mathews is that he buries his contempt and it only bubbles up, rather than rages.

I have Zell Miller on mute b/c I cannot deal. I am listening to Jello Biafra riff with Jeannee on Air America instead. But watching Zell on mute is still very frightening. He looks like a mole who hasnt seen the light of day. Squinty eyes, pinched nose. I mean this guy was anti-segregation AND a snake handling evangelistic. He is a disgrace to both parties honestly.

Not watching Dick. I mean I can't even stomach that. Mary is watching her 90210 reruns so I cant watch and blog at the same time. I will run into the kitchen when the post game starts. I wil try to read some trascripts but looking at Cheney is to upsetting......ok kitchen time.....

WOW I JUST WITNESSED A GREAT FIGHT BETWEEN CHRIS MATHEWS AND ZELL MILLER.......Zell misunderstood a question and got so pissed he challenged mathews to a duel. Check out the blog Media Drop for full play by play. Thanks to Balgavy for the tip.

Yours in Aaron Burr,
cL

2004-08-31T21:58:00.000-04:00

WHOOSE CASH? OUR CASH

So Bart, Matt and I headed up to Sotheby’s Auction house for the Defend Johnny Cash rally. At first it looked as if it was gonna be a washout but Bart and I started singing along with the other early arrivals and after the 4th version of I walk the Line squatters, gawkers, record store clerks, punks, hippies, professional protesters all started streaming in. Before I knew it the protesters were congregating on all the corners quicker than the police could build up the Free Speech Zones.

A little history: Johnny Cash was a lot of things including drug addict, father, band leader, folk singer, Christian, arsonist, good husband, loyal friend, and the list goes on, but partisan he was not. He never, even during the polarized 1960's when it was so easy to be in the silent/moral majority, declared anything other than compassion and justice to his fellow man and women. He sang with Bob Dylan, played to prisons, spoke frankly about the Vietnam War, and professed his faith with the conviction of a believer. I am sure he had friendships and loyalties across the political spectrum and could be painted conservative on some issues, but he no doubt had the progressive heart that has been the real American quality that has outshone our flaws.

The Tennessee delegation was hosting a party at Sotheby’s where later in September some of his stuff will be auctioned. This was nothing more than a sneak peek at the goods by greedy republicans. Another case, like so much of this ghoulish convention, seeks to use the voiceless dead to tell their tales. Maybe it kinda stupid to take a stand at this kind of event, except that music inspires people and the RNC so willingly co-opts Americana icons and heartland culture, it felt good to show up and declare one for "our side."

And when you see "their side" like Bart, Matt and I did in their WASPY clothes and hairdos I feel the cultural divide than makes defending Johnny Cash a righteous act. There has been some discussion on Listmaker about what good demonstrations do, and by and large it was a lot of yelling and emotion, but damn it it did feel good to scream myself into a wicked headache and get something out and have an audience for it. We booed the delegates and chanted and sang and basically ruined their party. There was like a revolving door as the tennesseans arrived, realized the bad vibe from the smelly crowd and began getting back on the class based rides out of there (Limos/Black SUVS/Sedans/town cars/cabs and lastly buses) The party lasted about and hour and a quarter, mostly with time taken up by lining up rides out. For most of the time Matt, Bart and I were right up front against the metal gates with 4 rows of helmeted cops stared us down. Look for us in the news and on the web.

HIGLIGHTS AND CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS:

Jello Biafra: The ex Dead Kennedy singer and professional rabble-rouser was in the crowd long enough to do 3 interviews and split. He really has gotten pudgy and grey.

Alphonse D'mato: Former New York senator. I tried to start an ALLLLLLPHONNNSE chant but maybe that was a little to pre-911 for this bunch.

Fred Thompson: Former actor and Tenn Republican Senator who has recently returned to acting by joining the cast of Law & Order. My heckle for him was: HOLLYWOOD ELITIST, HOLLYWOOD ELITIST.

George Allen: Former Virginia Governor (I was served him mini beef Wellington puffs at a VA republican function in Richmond during my days as a banquet temp) and current VA Senator. He also is the son of former Redskins coach George Allen SR. and brother of Tampa Bay Bucs GM Bruce Allen. Not to original, but I yelled "Fuck You George Allen, your no George senior!!!!!" It got a good response from him as he genuinely enjoyed being recognized.

Paul Tagliabue: NFL Commissioner. Not sure why he was there and he got there way late, maybe he was their on other business, but I still let him have it. Best heckle: "Paul Tagliabue? Is nothing sacred!!!” Not great but I love football.......

I also think I saw former Mass Governor and loser to Kerry in Mass Senate race William Weld. But I didn’t get to see Bill Frisk or former Tenn Gov Lamar Alexander. I actually walked Lamar's daughter down the aisle in a friends wedding. He also has been a luke warm supporter of gay rights due to my friends Mom's socialite politicking. I would have given him a pass.

SOME NON-CELEBRITY HECKLES I LANDED:

Someone get that junior event planner an apple martini (she was in major damage control as the we were making her job a nightmare. She cracked a smile on that one.)

Oh my god, look at that hair! Somewhere in Iraq a soldier is missing his helmet (This was some HUGE HAIR on this broad. She is looked like she was going to cry...)

How can a self respecting Sigma Chi leave an open bar early. (This was to some gaggle of twentysomethings who stayed for like 2 minutes)

Matt Army got a great chant of TROPHY WIFE AND A FAT HUSBAND...that was very popular with us and even got some stone faced cops to crack gas faces.

COMMON CHANTS:

NO RNC

RNC GO HOME

WELCOME TO NY NOW GET THE FUCK OUT

HEY HEY HOO THE GOP HAS GOT TO GO

WHOOSE CASH? OUR CASH!

SHAME SHAME SHAME

GRAVEROBBERS

YOUR UGLY AND MEAN THE GOP IS GOING DOWN IN A RING OF FIRE

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO

you get the point

whats on tomorrow’s schedule?

Yours in visceral release,
Brother Larry

2004-08-31T00:33:00.000-04:00

OLYMPICS OVER... sniffle....

Phew the Olympics are over without major incident. I enjoyed them immensley as always. Greece pulled it out lazy last minute style. I had to buy my boss Stu lunch b/c of USA BB. By the way they are still my dawgs and the level of venom towards them is very thinly vieled rascism plain and simple. There are plenty of BB reasons they lost, but many focus on them as "uppity rich niggers"

RNC UPDATE

So tommorow is my best day to do some protesting. And yes maybe I am trying to schedule it bit but the rest of my week is spent trying to learn how to help Americas youth so get off my back. I have a descion to make. There are two protests I want to go to Tuesday, but both of them are at 4pm. I am putting it out for a vote AND/OR an invitation to join me here are the details:

DEFEND JOHNNY CASH: The Tennesse Republican delegates are hosting a tribute to Johnny Cash, which is a travesty. This will be a wild, musical protest. They will be singing Johnny Cash songs and lots of costumes ect. Good protest for us musical minded. The protest will be at Sotheby's Auction House on York Avenue and 71st Street at 4pm. Click here for website.

FOX NEWS "SHUT-UP-A-THON": This will be people outside FOX NEWS STUDIOS screaming Shut Up and other friendly sayings at this propaganda service. 1211 Ave. of Americas (btwn. 47th & 48th). Sponsered by CODEPINK, Houston Global Awareness, Ronald Reagan Home for the Criminally Insane, The Tejas Bloc, and more. Maybe Robert Greenwald will be there. This one might be more serious and we might get on TV! Click here for press release.

Looks like Bart and Matt Army will be with me. There vote is the Johnny Cash protest. I wanna see who else wants in and get a vote on what we should do. I would like to formulate a plan before 1:30. Vote and organize on the comments section or email me at chrislarry@nyc.rr.com.

Yours in Drunken Ira Hayes,
LTL

2004-08-19T10:52:00.000-04:00

SWIFT BOAT GATE

As a son of a Vietnam vetern who has lived with the scars of Vietnam on my family my entire life I am sickened by this swift boat controversy. I just read a new article in the Wshington Post that has me literally shaking and combined with the extra large ice coffe I downed while watching my USA BB Dawgs defeat the aussies at 730 AM turning my bowls like a washing machine.

I can't even formulate the obvious counter attacks. The fact that this has stuck with the american people make me disgusted to be an American. That is strong talk from me especially during the Olympics which makes me into a complete patriotic nut job.

I want our country back. I want some civility, class, honesty, kindness, forgiveness, SOME MOTHER FUCKING CHRISTIAN BEHAVIOR. I dont count my self on the Christioan team, and at best a closet pagen, but where has the christian values gone in this country. We have become an ethical Sodom & Gamora with the most vocal "christians" embracing EVIL (yes he said...EVIL...) like a free handjob.

Kerry you need to take it strong to the hole, or look like a wuss. AND John McCain will you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be a man and denounce Bush for the rich little pussy bitch that he is and back Kerry. Enough with the "party of Teddy Roosevelt" crap turn your back on the Republicans. Bush already used this tactic on your service record and your adoption of a little "black baby" AND your wife's pill problem during the 2000 primaries. Your gonna support that over a man you fought side by side with in the Senate to clear up the POW/MIA issue. When are you gonna be a MAN/WOMEN/HUMAN BEING????????????????????????

Here email McCain and call him out for the shill he really is:
http://mccain.senate.gov/index.cfm?fuseaction=Contact.Home

Here is some contact info for Swift Boat veterans for THE DEATH OF TRUTH. Spam them, send them viruses, anything.....

Contact Swift veterans at Latch@SwiftVets.com

Send web site questions to Admin@SwiftVets.com

For media inquiries, use Media@SwiftVets.com

Yours in LT,
Chris Lawrence

2004-08-18T11:30:00.000-04:00

The Olympics Kick Ass!!!!! Negoids BE GONE!!!!!!

Youthlarge beat me to the wall with her Olympic entry. Thanks for the motivation!

I still owe a large treatise on the Little Steven International Garage Underground festival last Saturday. I had a Biff Bang Blast and lots of thoughts and observations as well as some tmobile on the scene reports to come soon (ish..). Let me say this The Dictaors killed, The New York Dolls was a once in a lifetime event, and Big Ups to Iggy Stooge who rocks it at almost 60. If you like the Strokes I can't like you. Like I said more later stay tuned.....

Back to the Olympics:

I love this shit. Its like a holiday that even makes the other humdrum bullshit in life seem manageable. I am so sick of anti-Olympic stories/people/comments/ whatever. Bush should be neutered for politicizing it. Have you seen that commercial for him that celebrates the Iraq and Afghan teams???? That’s some big onions he's got. The republicans are masters of cheapening anything that is truly emotional in a golly gee I love the USA way. I will admit when I watched the Iraqi team walk in during opening ceremonies I got choked up and I am mos def rooting for them in soccer.

In my further attempt to be positive let me throw out words of support to the new wave free Triple Cast coverage by the NBC Cable family. Since I work from home often I can watch day coverageon MSNBC, CNBC, Bravo, USA AND NBC. They have really done a great job at bringing events, sometimes live, in their entirety. I have watched full Basket Ball (commercial free!!) games, Volley ball matches. soccer and a shitload of Boxing...

THE SWEET SCIENCE

CNBC from 5-8 est shows nothing but Boxing. I love Olympic/amateur boxing and the last 15 years NBC has phased it out because of its declining popularity. The pro game is so sickened that it helped kill armature boxing. Remember the Olympics gave us Cassius Clay, George Foreman, Sugar Ray Leonard, The Hearns Brothers, Evander Hollyfield, Riddick Bowe, Roy Jones Jr, and Oscar De Hoya just to name some obvious ones. But on CNBC you get bout after glorious bout, and the US team is very competitive despite suffering our first loss today when 17-year-old high school junior Rau'Sheed Warren got a tough first round draw. But one good reason to check out the Sweet Science is NBC commentator Tony Atlas. This Stanen Island native and boxing expert is both funny to laugh at and with and breaks the matches down so that a few bouts in your knowledgeable about the sweet science on a cerebral level.

STU IS ANNOYING, USA BB MUST WIN

I have a lunch bet on whether A.I. and his dawgs can win a gold medal with my boss Stu. I bet on my country and our game. I know the world has caught up, USA BB picked the team like they were signing autographs at the mall rather than competing for national pride and the hip hop street nature of BB has its "limitations" BUT I am rooting for these guys like a muthafucka. This team has single-handedly taken the given of USA gold in BB and created an underdog story for themselves. The game against Greece was high drama and I watched every pass, shot and a few dunks. I will tell you this: Carmelo Anthony is a PUNK BITCH. Take that normal teen, bend your fuckin bill!!!!! Long Live King James. If TEAM STREETBALL doesn’t gut this out I may strangle my boss, please guys don’t let me down I don’t want to watch the NFL from jail with Jamal Lewis.

Yours in Athena,
LTL

2004-08-03T15:38:00.000-04:00

Me and Laura Bush Love the Oysters at the Mercer Kitchen

So I am standing outside the Mercer Kitchen in SOHO and just watched First Prig Laura Bush leave her lunch and get into a secret service escalade. Gotta say, very surreal. Thank god I have the Sidekick so I could instantly Blog on this occurance. She was wearing a red blazer and was surrounded by security. It looked as if she was with one of her party girl daughters. The blond one.

One funny moment was when one of the secret service stopped an old school NYC lefty with a no bush button on her floppy hat. He made a joke with her and let her go. I don't even think she knew what was going on and she wandered past literally seconds before The First Prig came out.
As Laura exited the restuarnt their were throngs of people. Only in NYC can u gather this many gawkers. I was instantly sucked in. At first I was hoping new Met wife Anna Benson was enjoying the fruits of her new city, but when one onlooker said it was LB I knew I had to sit around and wait for the show.

I wonder if this lower manhattan lunch trip was a message to go about our lives here in ORANGE TERROR ALERT NYC. And if Bush and his cronies we were really so worried about attacks do you think she would be lunching here at the intersection of Mercer and Prince? Aparently she was here to thank everyone for coming to work with the THREAT. Like these clockpunchers have a choice! Was yesterday any more dangerous than any day post 9/11???? Was her well orchestrared visit just part of the fear election stradegy of the last 72 hours? I will be happy to report that only one person of about 75 clapped as she walked ito her black SUV.

After 9/11 I was pretty hawkish on terrorists and ready to buy into some of this crusades like mentallity. Which explains why I am so much more pissed off now because Bush & Co. have turned all of this fear, security, terrorism into such a farce that I can't even in good faith be anything less than a conspiracy theorist nutball even though I am SURE terrorism will strike again. This terrorism as campaign stradegy is high treason and when/if the truth ever comes out heads should bounce down Pannsalvania Ave like basketballs. The last few days have run so smoothly for Republicans with the terror imagery, the army of pundits questioning peoples patriotism and the skewed baby bounce poll numbers that it reads like a sequel to Wag the Dog. I also believe that this is all a run up to the RNC convention as they are making sure Bloomberg has the goon squads ready to bust protestor heads and spark riots to blacken the anti Bush movement. And you know that if NYC makes the rebublicans look bad they will punish us by withholding federal funds. That's why Bloomberg is bieng such a wuss. Dark days indeed. Here is a good conversation between Norman Mailer, the original angry young man, and his son about the impending riots.

Yours in Terreze Hienz Kerry
LTL

2004-08-03T11:17:00.000-04:00

JOE GIBBS BABY OFFICIALLY KICKS OF FOOTBALL SEASON

...and not a minute to soon. I need Football like fiend. No apologies. Joe Gibbs Baby is now active and talking Redskins/Footbal and Fantasy Football...

JIM SAYS IT BETTER

Whiskey Drinker has a great new blog decrying terror alerts and politics. He is planning his ex-patriotism now. I do like New Zealand. I want to live in Rivendale but I hear the rents are high. I wanted to talk about this subject as well but WDJ nails it so why bother!

DIDN'T HE SAY HE WAS GOING TO TO AN ALBUM REVIEW A WEEK?

...I did didn't I...well I still have a 5 days left this week.

Yours in Fear,
LTL

2004-07-30T11:48:00.000-04:00

DNC is Over and Joe Scarborough must Die!

Wow. Quite a show. Too bad the networks couldn’t cut away from reruns of CSI: Dubuque and The Swan to show Obama or Jimmy Carter. The Dems have gotten very polished and seem sleek and sexy for this scrap. As much as I could bitch, I am officially biting the tongue and unleashing my full evilness on W. So no long reviews about the Dems ignoring Gay issues other than winks and nods or leaving the whup ass stick at home on the evil-doers in the White House.

Kerry’s speech really worked when he aggressively took back issues like values, family and patriotism. I was like speak it brother, I am so sick of the Republicans co-opting that kind kneejerkery.

Joe Scarborough is so transparent with his motives and agenda on MSNBC. Could we all be any more tired of this smarmy-jokey-frat boy-cool guy-business casual archetype conservative pundit. It is like they just discovered detached cynical wisecrakery! Former Congressmen Joe’s first comments after the speech immediately transformed him into Joan Rivers. He admitted that the speech content was excellent, but that Kerry’s diction and cadence was weak and he trampled his best lines. WHAT? SHUT UP! Don’t we have bigger issues facing the country/world/universe? Like Bush isn’t Alfered E. Newman on ludes everytime he opens his mouth. What Me Worry?

Hienz-Kerry: White Mischief hits the Big Time

In one of his first post DNC stump speeches Bush gave a preview of the GOP’s strategy saying “the most important reason to keep me in office is to Keep Laura Bush as the first lady for four more years!” which got uproarious applause from the xenophobes in the crowd. Is this the best they can do? Aren’t we sick of attack the wives bit. They are attacking the widow of a Republican Senator and a woman who gives millions to charity monthly. “She talks funny she must be French”. Can we now start classifying Laura Bush as the tightlegged prig who is so deep in a Paxil haze that she admitted on Leno that the goal of any election is to make the other candidate/family look as bad a possible.

Lt Liesure Time Larry, and I am reporting for duty!

So I am still thinking on the Coffe Flats Writers Guild. But I really feel the need to DO SOMETHING for this election but am sort of at a loss as to what. Any ideas collectively that we/I/you could do. I was thinking about offering to drive Brooklynites to the polls with the jeep (you know like the elderly and shit) but I am coming up kinda empty. There is always money, which is prolly best but so personally unsatisfactory. Also the RNC in NYC is coming up and I feel the need to do something than as well. Maybe we should all cover the convention on our Blogs in some way. A cooridanted assault/reporting on the battlezone that Manhattan will become. Who is in!?!?!?!

2004-07-09T15:26:00.000-04:00

EWWWWW MY DRINK SWEATS!!

One thing I hate about summer is that every drink I have ends up sweating condensation! Its so anoying as my clothes are soggy from the drinking already! And its all a viscious circle because the reason I need constant drinks is that its so hot!!!!!!!

Yours in Diet Pepsi,
LTL

2004-07-08T15:24:00.000-04:00

NICE! THE CONVERSATION HAS BEGUN!

Cool looks like I got the chatter going. Here is my platform:

1. Create a central website that would house all members of the Coffee Flats Bloggers Guild. This way we could advertise and publicize one URL that would than represent us all. The website would mostly consist of links to our blogs, a bios section, photo gallery, announcements and a "front page" feature that would report and highlight issues in our community,much like listing's does for our Coffee Flats Fantasy Baseball League.

2. Draft some kind of credo, manifesto, motto, that sums up our reason for grouping and acts as a ideal for future members.

3. Create charter members (not limited by geography)who will than agree to add fellow members on their blogs links if they don't exist already. Have some kind of LOW yearly dues to cover incidentals like buys domain name etc. Handle money via paypal. Have donations link on our group home page.

4. Have online town hallmeetings via IM/Message board to make decisions.

5.Marketing! Events, sponsored happy hours, concerts, buttons, Tshirts etc.

6. Take over of international banking system

7. World domination, making society safe for silliness, inside jokes, cranky rants and our own brilliance.

PEOPLE ITS TIME TO STAND UP AND BE COUNTED. THE TIME IS NOW!

Yours in the Water Buffalo Society,
LTL

2004-07-07T23:11:00.000-04:00

THE T-MOBIL SAGA

So I did get my new Sidekick and paid my bill, but now the phone doesnt work!!!!!!!! Have to send it back! But I should get a new one. As of now I am using the Net features as the Wilco review was a subway screed. I love how I am getting the rep as machine gun poster!!!!! I hit it quik when the mood strikes baby! Thats how I do!

Yours in Machine Man,
LTL

P.S. Finally saw Far. 911. Do we really need another blog on it??? BUT the fact that it was the number 2 movie in the country its second weekend on fewer screens is insane!

2004-07-07T22:52:00.000-04:00

MUSIC JOURNALISM IS A ROTTING CORPSE

Yeah I am bitter. I couldn't eek out a living swiming in this cess pool. But blessings often come like a rabbit punch. The last 15 years of rabid and debilitating music fandom has left me in a cynical well informed malaise to anything that purpots to be melodious sound waves. I like to brag that I hate music. The problem is that I only wish it were true. Instead I am scorned lover at home getting a hard on over my anger and pain.

Mary who puts food on our table by snorkeling with these sharks and she is sick of my attitude. Last week she wisely commented that she wished I knew nothing about "pop music" so the running commentary could be shut off. And I get her point because truth be told I annoy myself as well.

So with that intro I launch the new ALBUMS I WOULD DOWNLOAD FOR FREE features to Bile & Venom that should help solidify my belief to be music hackery's last champion! My goal is 2 capsule album reviews a week. Here we go...

WILCO A Ghost Is Born: Minumum listens before dumping to trash: 5. Takes awhile to break through and us much as you would love to see midas touched sad sack Tweedy stumble once (I said I was bitter) he again delivers a great album. He reminds me of those kids in High School who were able to get attention and chicks by flaunting there flaws. "Aww he's so cute he has diabetes, pooor baby is color blind, when he cuts himself I get wet" ect.. When I listen to Ghost Is Born it makes me feel the same as when I read The Corrections. Both works made me long for mental illness and dysfunction. Normally I am a pretty sane well ajusted chap but maybe it would be cool to be sychtzo or strung out. Reading Frazen or listening to Wilco gives me that hit of psuedo melencholy I need. Now all this brings us to track 11, the infamous noise jam. Is this the first turd in Wilco's Canon? Their "She's So Heavy"? Even compared to other noise jams and droning experimentation it sucks. Tweedy has said it suppossed to make you hit the next button and is purposely not the last track. Even the Flaming Lips had the coutesy to place their wankery as the last track on Hit To Death on the Future Head. Mission accomplished Jeff. I left it off completely on the transfer to the IPOD. Maybe that makes me a simpleton and the joke is on me.

2004-07-07T22:34:00.000-04:00

MORE VOTING CALESTENICS:

So it seems to me we have this very little blogging community. I am calling a virtual town meeting for the sake of our blogs. We need some central web page, a snappy name, maybe a motto (I like the apes!) some U-N-I-T-Y. Any ideas. I just think it would be cool and it would be easier to promote. Like a web ring or sumshit, or even better a Guild! Feel free to debate before voting.

Ballot Initiative #1: The Forming of some umbrella group from our family of Blogs:

Yeah

or

Nay

Non bloggers are eligible to vote

Does anyone know a good free poll feature I can use in the future?

Yours in the grass roots,
LTL

2004-07-01T14:10:00.000-04:00

LIESURE TIME LARRY WINS IN A LANDSLIDE

Stop the votes, debates and spell checks Liesure Time Larry is the runaway winner. I hate it, but the public has spoken. Thanks to my MOM for sticking up for me. I have to admit today, with lots to do, I have very much adopted my name as I have done NOTHING productive, instead playing 2.5 hours of Baldurs Gate: Dark Alliance 2. I love Baldur's Gate 1 BUT when I was 2/3 of the way through the game I accidently DELETED my game. I wept and never turned it on again.

Now I wasting time blogging, Liesure Time Larry indeed.

Yours in Tomfoolery,
LTL

2004-06-30T10:36:00.000-04:00

AIR AMERICA FIRST QUARTER REPORT

So I finally feel it is time for a report card on Air America Radio. I have been listening with psychopathic regularity and feel quite confidant in my assessments. I will save my general thoughts for the final grade at the end.

INDIVIDUAL GRADES FOR BROADCAST SCHEDULE:

MORNING SEDITION: : INCOMPLETE This is on opposite Howard Stern. Normally that would be nuff said, But, with Stern one of the Champions of Freedom & Goodness he is more important than 100 Air Americas. I do like comedian Marc Maron and with Stern's vacation upcoming I will give them a listen. Here is their Blog.

UNFILTERED: B+ This is my sentimental favorite. The plus in the grade signals that. How can you not love a show co-hosted by a Female Midwestern catholic comic, a still angry but middle aged Rap Star and a butchy lesbian foreign trained journalist. The unlikely but genuine chemistry these three generate (Daily Show Creator Lizz Winstead, Public Enemy leader Chuck D and rabblerouser Rachel Maddow)is infectious and informative. Sharing the mic can get confusing and they are still learning the three headed format. At times they stretch at theme type shows (cell phones cause cancer was a tough show..) but they use pop culture, music and comedy better than any other show on Air America. Funny bits include a singing newscaster, burying the lead and my fave rave the Friday Unfiltered Party Machine where they welcome in Kyle Jason and all answer musical questions like "first single I danced to" by playing the songs they each pick. It rulz. One complaint is that their section of the Air America website needs work.

THE O'FRANKEN FACTOR: C+. The Flagship show, the crowned jewel, the bestseller. I grade hard because of expectations. Let me say, this is a positive C+. There is much to like as Franken is master comedy writer with enough performance skills to be in front of the camera/mic. His conceptual parody of The O'Riely Factor is perfect and he does such a good impression of Rush Limbaugh that he should do a whole show that way. His co-host Katherine Lanpher is a very likeable and capable broadcaster but I am not sold on their vibe together and she reigns in Al to much when he veers towards silly comedy. This show does get the best guests. One day last week they had Bill Clinton, Ron Reagan Jr. ( a great interview..) and Michael Moore. Room for improvement, but getting better daily. O'Franken Factor Blog.

THE RANDI RHODES SHOW: B: The first few weeks of Air America's existence I HATED this show. I found her yenta voice annoying and her whole schtich just rubbed me raw. But once she had me broken down she built me back up like the Air Force Officer she once was. This Brooklyn Chick is like the female Stern. Unafraid of being brutally honest and opionated with a moral supiority that offends and endears. She brings it strong to the Mic and is also the only host of a call in show on the network that rocks it solo. Big ups to that. Read her bio for the background. Good work Randi! Keep it up! Love the stuff about your personal life.

SO WHAT ELSE IS NEWS? B- Like an edgier NPR style hour news magazine show.A variety of commentary, guests and musical segments. Good mix of culture and politics. Host Marty Kaplan looks like Art Garfunkel. Marty has a tendency to be a tad too smug. His jokes can bomb but he does have some witty charm, kinda like a left wing Paul Harvey. Someone on the show has good music tastes because the music bio segments are well produced and feature interesting musicians. Potential not yet reached.

THE MAJORITY REPORT: B Because this show is PRIMETIME I can't listen as much as I would like. This is a great show. Janeane Garofalo has finally found her medium. She is funny, smart, sounds good and has enough cultural clout to gain attention. Given the time to relax she is way less annoying than the soundbyte version of herself. Co-Host Sam Cedar brings a geeky compatriot to Janeane that works. Majority Report also features the most underground guests and bloggers appealing to the younger non-hippy new age crowd. Check out regular blogger-guest Atrious. A recent bit I loved was having Janeane's conservative Dad in studio and the guest co-hosting of David Cross. Also features ex-JMU trickster and Soft Skull Press publisher Sander Hicks. Majority Report Blog.
On their way to an A.

OVERALL GRADE: B- After I got over my initial jealousy of not being involved in Air America, I really became an enthusiastic supporter. The B- reflect a remarkable achievement considering their lack of money, media support and so many first time broadcasters. I hope they can survive this start up phase and continue their mutation into a viable radio network with more affiliates and listeners. Click here to listen online.

One early problem for both the station and the listeners was the lack of commercials. They ran constant PSAs and the same 3 commercials. Some atrocities still remain like Supercuts but their has been an obvious influx of new advertisers like Starbucks and Folynex hair solution.

The biggest success of Air America so far is their excellent guests. The regularly feature a wide array of authors, journalists, bloggers, comedians, muscians, politicians and other news makers. These guests have gone a long way to buying some quick legitimacy to the young network.

NOTE: This report only covers the WEEKDAY schedule. I hope to get to the weekend soon and I am dying to listen to the Saturday Night music show BRING THE NOISE

Yours in bias based radio,
CLarry

2004-06-30T10:24:00.000-04:00

DEBATES STILL RAGES OVER WHETHER "TIME" STAYS IN NEW NICKNAME!

LIESURE LARRY: 1

LIESURE TIME LARRY: 2

A note on the spelling. The incorrection stays, although admitedly an accident on my part, I like how it backs up the whole Liesure myth.

Still plenty of time to chime in, dont miss out this will be a close one!!!!! Think of it as practice voting!!!

Yours in Diebold,
CLarry

2004-06-28T12:26:00.000-04:00

LIESURE LARRY VS. LIESURE TIME LARRY: YOU MAKE THE CALL.

There has been some debate as to my undeserved but funny new nickname. I will say that just because I set my own hours and have a more FLEXIBLE schedule than most 9-5 slaves does not mean I am lazy, perhaps just more self aware than most. I will put my ability to plan a wedding, run a small buisness through large changes and get a 4.0 in a year of Graduate school up against any body!!!!!

BUT I will accept the new moniker. So let me know which one to adopt:

Liesure Larry
Liesure Time Larry,

Yours in Wexelbaum,

CLarry

2004-06-28T11:10:00.000-04:00

MULTIPLICITY OF PERSPECTIVES

When I was Frosh at Bradley University I had one of those science fiction style professors who ralied against the coming totalitarian state. The class was some intro to mass media lecture class in Bradley's biggest classroom. This was 1990 and right before the technology explosion that defines the decade. I consider my self the last wave of old school teenagers before the dawning of the information wave. I stood on the dock and waved good bye to the age of industry and hello intimate details of j lo and trailer tramp spears matriomial mis adventures. My dorm room was called a "DORM OF THE FUTURE" like something from a World Fair which meant it was equipped with PC's with internet access. Not bad for 1990, I think we used it mostly for lining up the nights party options and reading seamy Penthouse Forum style stories about paraplegic sex and horse dicks. Not quite the moving sidewalks and robot maids that I had envisioned, but certainly revolutionary.

Anyway back to the Prof, in retrospect he was probably just well read and selling us on the schools technology initiatives BUT he did rant about the coming explosion, prophetic ideas like housing entire library's on a single CDROM, doing all homework via your personal computer and the strangling of voices in the corporate media via deregulation frenzy by fat cat republicans starting with Reagan. Bush Mach I furthered consolidated media power essentially by creating an airwaves land grab that paved the way for things like Clear channel Communications, Pop Rap and Fox News.

I am not going to repeat what everyone's knows or can find out, but I do want to state my belief that the silencing of the voices of America is the number one issue facing us as a nation. We are still infants in this new era of Information Shock. The power of the media is infinite and easily abused and manipulated. The way to at least safe guard the brain washing that is capable is by allowing the market place of ideas (an idea espoused centuries earlier but seems written for this moment), a buffet of idiocy rather than a single doctrine of madness.

This war over the digital soul of America is being waged on many fronts and in many theatres. The coming election is the first great epic battle. I read so many fantasy novels that I may have damaged my allegorical thinking skills for life but I can't help but feel the swirl of two eternal forces sucking in power for a street fight this fall. The grey area has been obliterated. Its line up on a side time. And I for one am sick of pulling punches. The other side is evil, its thrives in the dark corners and shadows, feasting on corpses and sucking lifeblood from innocents. Like the most stereotypical evil v good story arc (rent Wizards by Ralph Baski for a cool example)the stakes are high and the distinctions are clear. Evil's current champion puppet is Bush who rules like an idiot King who is kept on a short leash by the nefarious necromancer Cheney. Charles the Hammer Martel had nothing on this bunch. Their minions rule fiefdoms across all realms with a constant thirst for more. They preside over easily duped masses who act as cannon fodder in their assaults on the forces of freedom and goodness.

Hmmm, maybe I can write that thinly veiled social commentary Sword and Socery novel I have dreamed of now.....actually Bush is good for me personally as I need more material....BUSH IN 2004.

Yours in Robert Murdoch,
CLarry

2004-06-24T13:07:00.000-04:00

EXCUSES, BABY, EXCUSES!

So I know I have dropped the ball like Ernest Byner on the blog front for the last month or so. I am as depressed about it as you believe me!!!!!! In honor of the newest BLOGGER in the Duke Loop I will list my excuses:

1. I got Married

2. I went to Belize

3. My TMOBILE SIDEKICK has been either broken, the replacement arrived broken and I can't afford the bill at this time so I am tied to my monolith desktop.

4. I have been driving to work more which means less time in deep thought on the subway.

5. I just completed books 6 and 7 of Stephen King's Dark Tower series and it sucked up my free time

6. A lovely trip to Marysville Ohio. And I dont care what Paquette says door to door its 12 hours. And I averaged 85 MPH, 95 on curves.

7. Too much freakin work, and still havent been able to deposit a paycheck in a month!

8. Endless cleaning up of cardboard boxes and packing popcorn. Not a complaint mind you, simply a fact.

9. The misery of my mediocre Fantasy Baseball team,the Carroll Street Draft Day Bandits.

10. My obsession with Air America Radio. (More to follow)

SUMMER DAN AND LIESURE LARRY SAY TWO BALLS UP TO DODGEBALL

So wednesday me and Summer Dan checked out the new hit comedy Dodgeball. Have to say was not disappointed. Good satire, funny characters and the best Ben Stiller performance since The Royal Tennenbaums. My boyfriend Vince Vaughn was kept on a short leash which was my biggest complaint with the movie. BUT he still had some classic lines. The dude to me is the funniest thing going as even a lifted eyebrow or shoulder shrug has me in hysterics. Granted he wasn't on fire like his performances in Made and Old School but he still had me choking on my diet coke and popcorn at one point. If you haven't seen Made your missing one of the funniest single performances in the last 25 years.

Summer Dan commented that the first half was better than the second half, which to me is essential to a classic comedy. I am so glad that the comedy is making a strong comeback lately and am beside myself with excitement over the impending Anchorman, which costars a person I am beating in Fantasy Baseball. Also VV does a reportedly hysterical cameo.

THE WEDDING

Just wanted to make sure that I throw a gigantic THANK YOU to who all of you who came to Mary and I's wedding. We had a blast as Mary said it was the best day of her life!!!! That excitement might recede once she gets to realize what she has gotten herself into....

I really appreciate all the photos and positive comments since we returned to the states. Also a GIANT congrats to our fellow nuptial cohorts Grace & Josh and Jaime and Kacy!!!!!

Links to Pictures of wedding:
Balgavy.com

Alex J

I hope to do a Belize recap in the near future!

MY BITTER MOTHER!

I know that the the Lawrence family of bloggers has SUCKED the last month and it leaves many to wonder if we were short timers! But alas we are back and ready to kick ass. But just as we are getting out of the gate mi madre went and BROKE HER ARM! But dont think that slows this women down. She has written a scathing blog on Middle Musings about the unfairness of life. She doesn't think that anyone reads her blogs and she needs comments like somepeople need oxycotin, so maybe give her a FEEL BETTER!!!! Once I post this opus only THE NORMAL TEENAGER WILL still be sucking. And believe me he has lots to blog about like how he is finally getting some action from that best friend he whined about for months!!!!

PREVIEWS

OK I have to get on with the futility of my day but soon I will be posting my complete thoughts on Air America Radio (I am pro by the way) and also some travelouges about Belize! And also hopefully more machine gun thoughts on a REGULAR basis.

Yours in matrimony,
Clarry

2004-05-10T13:11:00.000-04:00

OK here is some of the Subway Diaries brought to you by Tmobile's Danger Sidekick. The prefered mobile device for Demi Moore, Camerenon Diaz, Lindsay Lohan and Chris Larry. These have not been edited, rferead, or changed from the time of blog creation on subway. In bold.

I know I know long time no blog. I bet your wondering "has he finally hit the wall, ran out of steam, pooped out, insert cliche here?

Well I don't have a good answer fot ya bubs. I have been deep into my own life which is pathetic but true. I will spare you the tedium of the details. I have been tired, angry, depressed, sick, busy, arrogant to vent on here with any kind of literary voracity. It would have been self loathing to the max and that's always boring. I have felt like brain is set to constant blog and that its hard to direcxt that thoughts into the minikeys. I have 2 unfinished blogs buried deep in my digital memory.

Lets move from the bitterly personal to the cynicaly political with the confusion of a Larry King USA Today column. Is John Kerry the best we can throw at Bush?? There seems to be growing scuttle butt that many Dems are nervous Kerry has stumbled out of the gate and is already losing precious ground to Bush. W is post-teflon. He lives by a personal code and practice of "I am the mirror and you are the glue. Whatever you stay bounces off me and stick to you!" He has had about as a bad a 4 weeks stretch as any Prez in recent memory on international affairs issues. Can you believe that we almost impeached Bill Clinton on where he snuffed out his cigar and if he lied about it. Or even that a few career beauracrats got a few extra flights?? Team Bush has not told the truth in 3 years. Its all lies, subterfuge, and doublespeak. All this bafoonery and Kerry is already getting creamed. He doesn't even have a campaign manager for Ohio and seems to have learned nothing from Howard Dean in terms of techno-politicing.

Here is the only flip side/devil's advocate theory that will accept:

Team Kerry knows how brutal this election will be. With Iraq, 9/11 and the psuedo election of 2000 as a backdrop and the olympics, conventions and what everyone says is a probable terroist attack mixed as a part of the soup this should prove one that when the age turns to legend people will still sing of with gusto. With this in mind perhaps Kerry is simply laying low and letting Team Bush blow itself out with its walmartization of political discourse. Kerry knows that you can't come out like a banshee to early and he can let Bush sink himself. As it stands now no incumbant president has ever started fighting this hard this early. Its like the bushies know that they operate best in the bullshit short attention span world of campaigning so might as well start early.

All this sounds good of course but I am still as jittery than the fitst in line at the methadone line

AND ANOTHER

I am sortof hard to pin down spiritualy. As any srtoll through my archives will attest me and organized religon aren't real cozy. But even my own sense of personalized spirtuality is hazy for me. But one of my few tenents are based on good deeds beget other good deeds, do onto others as you would have done to you, payback is a bitch, karma, what goue up comes down, they will get theirs eventually, envy is bad. You get the point. Some concept of this belief is prevelent (although rarely practiced) in almost all the worlds religons in some way.

But like any any religon, my fragile framework has a nasty mule kick coraralry that leaves you gasping for air rolling around on the gravel plugging your guts closed with a dirty finger. For me its the outrage when you feel screwed, like I when I can't seem to get a withdraw from the karma bank after a whole lots of deposits. Not only do I feel ripped-off, abused and guilty (I must not be livin as right as I thought) but I start questioning my simple scaffold of beliefs.

2004-05-10T13:02:00.000-04:00

Our boy and J-Flood finally got of his ass and started a blog. I dont really care what he calls it but his rock climbing story is priceless, make my recent accomplishments surrounding driving seem sad indeed.

Check it out, make comments you know the deal......

Yours in J-Flood,
Cl

2004-05-10T12:32:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven’t blogged in awhile....I know I know I suck. Its irresponsible. I actually have a couple unfinished mobile entries, the subway diaries, that I will post in bold in an another entry right after I belch this one out.

So I FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY passed the New Your State/City road test to be an officially licensed driver. This is the first time I have had a valid drivers license since 1996. Now that doesn’t mean I haven’t driven. I have driven like a muthafucka, but now I am legal baby!!!!! I haven’t felt this good about a document since I got my first passport 2 months ago.....well before that it has been a long time!!!!

Now I have been trying to get it for some time, I am on my second permit, have taken the "5 HOUR COURSE" Twice, have taken the written test twice, Have taken the road test an embarrassing FOUR TIMES, spent a chunk of change not to mention lost a few precious hairs on the old scalp.

Today went smooth as the instructor was joe cool, a real baddaaass type that put me to chill right away. Now I have had some nightmare road trips, I am a fine driver, any issues with it can be taken up on the comments page, but I am so comfortable that I don’t drive "correctly" as don’t 97% of all drivers with 6 months more exp or more. Also I tense up in the test, I am a suck-ass test taker, I will admit it, so with each failure the mental demon of the event had taken a real paranoia/fear trip in my head that wasn’t helping pass the frickin' thing. I wont bore you with the pathetic details; in fact see blog entry #1 for my report from the shitter about more of my license issues. Anyway it’s good to be free of this petty burden.

Yours in red tape,

2004-04-23T11:54:00.000-04:00

I was just reading Dan Savages letters column in the village voice and there was letter about how his readers had created the term PEGGING (the act of a straight male getting ass fucked with a strap-on by a women, think Ralphie on the Sopranos) and the reader had noticed the term popping up in pop culture. Senor Savage also added that an episode of FX's The Shield had also used the term and even entitled the episode PEG. All this got me pondering how much I love the practice of creating new terms, words and sayings. This obsession goes back to highschool where we were obsessed with creating catch phrases to the point of ridiculousness. I had half the school using "Cheese Nerd" for the better part of my sophomore year. Later in my life, although not much further on the maturity scale, me and my cohorts racked our brains trying to come up with the female version of FREE BALLIN (always fun to sing to Tom Petty's Free Fallin). We never really could quite come up with something that clicked. Feel free to brainstorm your ideas on the comments section.

My buddy J-Flood wrote an excellent essay where he proposes a new term for gay men who aren't stereotypical gay. The term was STRAY. I loved it and the essay kicked ass as a piece of cultural criticism. He backburnered the idea because of the fascist political climate towards non breeders as he didn't want to be seen as a alternative lifestyles traitor. An honorable goal but I still say the world is worse without his new word. J-Flood still doesn't have a blog which is way more of a political crime than his birth of the term STRAY. J-Flood come out of the cave already the world needs your voice.....jeesh.

By the way if any of you are offended by talk of balls, ass fucking, homos or cheese nerds, please die. We need chemical showers for these knee jerk offended. The world is profane, deal. Maybe you should get more offended by the "collateral damage" caused by the war in Iraq (now there is a new term we could do without....) That last statement made me think that, unfortunately, the Pentagon seems to make up more new terms than any other group (shock and awe, operation just cause etc) maybe they are the new Saturday Night Live. I mean after all didn't G-Dumb just do a killer Dana Carvey at his press conference uttering "Stay the course" 3 or 4 times!

Yours in the Church Lady,
Cl

2004-04-15T14:38:00.000-04:00

Yo mama's boys and girls!

My family has caught BLOG FEVER, you already know about BLAW (and he is dying for more feedback on his comments page, he's a teen he needs praise and ass kicking!) and my other bro SLAW is a commenting madman especially on my REDSKINS BLOG but now my MOTHER has gotten into the act with her newly launched MIDDLE MUSINGS blog. This woman can write her ass off and its where all my prowess comes from so check it out and tell her middle age ain't THAT BAD, not that 99% of you have ANY CLUE!!!

Speaking of old age, at Bank Street (my grad school) on of my friends was talking about her new Apartment (literaly 1 block from me..) and kept talking about how her roomate was al "adult" and "mature" b/c she was 31! YIKES i am 31 and will soon be 32! Finally after like the 10th referance I was like "everytime you say that you drive a knife in to my heart I AM 31" they were all like...sorry gramps...and than started talking about how 25 is when it all starts to go downhill.....did they not here me or just don't care about my feelings....WHAAAA...if these ladies cant handle 25 wait until 30 punches them in the mouth.....

Check out Dor's/Glo's/Mom's blog and continue to understand "Lawrence Luck" as Blaw talks about....Mary do you know what your doing, of course you do your not taking the cursed name HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Your's in Dor,
Cl

2004-04-13T17:22:00.000-04:00

I am riding the uptown 3 train on my way to school. I am exhausted from 2 straight nights of intense homework, writing grants and research projects. Stressed out for my third attempt at the NYC drivers test. I looked forward to the 45 minute zone out time of my train ride. BUT instead I got some loud wacked out black isrealite SCREAMING at the entire train. Just yelling and spitting literally 2 feet from my face. I feel like snapping his neck that's why I am furiously typing as a way to dump the anger this dude is inspiring in me. He is yelling about black people and how everyone is evil. And we are all going to our pagan jobs preparing to burn in hell....

I am so tired of people preaching their ignorant self serving bullshit all the time. Everywhere I look religon is bieng used to enslave, terrorize, restrict, frighten and scare people. Its the root of 99 percent of the worlds problems. Christians, jews, muslims, hindus....FUCK THEM ALL.

I feel like most of us are just trying to survive in this life, swiming upstream minding on our buisness. This train is like a microcosm of life. Most if us are tired, overworked, stressed out unwashed masses just trying to make it through a day in a world loaded against us. But instead we are huddled in fear and intimidation by a religous extremist who needs to scream his ego dominating everyone. HEAR ME HEAR ME HEAR ME its what the right wing christian says, its what the islamic extremist says, its what the wacky celebrity kabalists say, what the scientologists and the catholics say......its trhe kind of spiritual masturbation that holds all of us down by the neck like a dog who just shit on the carpet.

He finally got off at 42nd street, probably to joun his other brothers in abraham in times square to yell at the buisness casual crowd as they sip their latte's and get that last smoke before hitting the slaughter pen, I mean cubicle.

Say after me brothers and sisters:

UGH, and again I say UUUGHH

Yours in Yahweh,
Cl

2004-04-08T17:08:00.000-04:00

Hey gang here is details on Mary and I's upcoming PARTY:

Hello Friends!!!!!!!!

Mary and I (and the good people of 38 St. Marks) would like to invite you to the last blow out-wish we were still in college- keg party of our single lives!!! Yes it’s the very 21st century Co-Bachelor/ette Party!!!

Judging on the rich history of the 38 St. Marks party lore this promises to be ONE FOR THE AGES! One last time before walking down the aisle you can witness ME being loud and walk on furniture at my own party (and hopefully stay awake) and for Mary to hold court over half the room with Menudo stories and her newest yarn "Can you believe what Chris said/did this time." We promise to be in our best raucous mood like in our pre LOVE days when at one happy hour we were dubbed "Battle of the Louds"

I hope you can join us!

DETAILS:

WHEN: Saturday April 17th 10PMish

WHERE: 38 St. Marks Place, Brooklyn. Between 3rd and 4th Ave. Close to Atlantic/Pacific Station (D/W/Q/N/2/3/4/5). Exit Pacific exit and walk 4 blocks away from the clock tower. Take right on St Marks from 4th ave.

PHONE: 718 246 1404 OR 347 866 4363

EMAIL: chrislarry@nyc.rr.com

2004-04-08T16:27:00.000-04:00

So finally got the new LOVE SHACK wired for full digiatal cable roadrunner modem!!!! Also upgraded to the Balgavy aproved DVR. That should bring me and the little lady hours of pleasure. I will post pics of the new pad when its ready, and I can't wait to have folks over!!!!

My newely again wired status will increase my blog, sorry for the layoff as I was lost in the wastelend of limited internet access.

Yours in Broadband,
Cl

2004-04-08T16:16:00.000-04:00

Wow I thought our last gig sucked.......

I am sitting in the Slipper Room on a wed with an annoyong cold and a foul temper. Afrer 7 long stupid years of the Heckers here we are wasting time on some suburbanized watering hole in the whitewashed Lower east side basically waiting our turn on some open mike night. Currenly we are enduring this horric jc from Insync wanna be croon on an electric piano. Its like talent night on Greek row at campus town usa, only worse. Oh great the Bongos just kicked in. And I am wondering why when I have a grant, research paper and a curriculum to write plus a wedding to plan and an apt to unpack I am sitting here waiting to embaress ourselves in front of a sea of bad makeup and thursday happy hour buzzes?

Justin or jarvis or whoever is singing his newest hit "colorblind"

This is gig is put together by this website we got involved with called wise elephant. They tried to get into this artist services type thing but shocker it didn't work out. This gig I agreed to do months ago when it looked like a good idea. Now the site is going under and we find out what an afterthought this whole thing was. The site and date have been moved for this gig and its been crammed into....

Ok I have to get off this because Jerkin's stage banter is so hysterical I can't even do it justice I would trade a cousin for a microphone so I could record and share it with you all. He is treating his 5 friends like he was onstage at the Royal Albert Hall

"New york I love you"

"Its so hot but I do it for you"

" This song is emotionaly intense"

"This song is about rachel sitting right there because we have a history I am not gonna get into right now"

"Sign up on my email list, maybe we'll connect, maybe we can date"

I am now watching the girl this song is about, some trashy jersey girl type blush with her huge honker. The bongo (yes Bongos) player is so off beat it sounds like a police beating. I wish he would brain Jared with them. I am now visualizing the bongos taking off a chunk of jasons skull.

So we played OK but who cares I am so over the whole dog and pony show of it all. I know my boy from (formely) of Wise Elephant had good intentions but this gid was a waste. I think us and Alchol Stuntband would have been a good match up in a real rock club with a receptive audience and some decent promotion. Part of that is our fault as we didnt even send out an email. Our drummer/tech guy Paul is to busy to send an email out for a show that was booked 3 months ago so what do we expect. Why do I do it? I am asking myself that very same question repeatedly!!!!!

I HATE MUSIC, sometimes I don't....it Definetely has too many notes!

Yours in Wise Elephant,
Cl

P.s. Alex I love you baby! Glad your back making films!

2004-04-02T12:05:00.000-05:00

The other day while I was moving my junk into the new LOVE SHACK (baby!) I overheard a hysterical conversation. It was a contractor working on the brownstone nextdoor. He was on his cell talking to a client who still owed money. In a very calm and controlled voice he was like:

You better have the money for my men today, this is bullshit. You don't want me to come for it next week. If I have to come it won't be to chat. I will hurt you. If I have to pay you a visit it will end with me going to jail and you going to the hospital. That you can count on.

There was other menacing talk that I wish I coiuld remember better. Some real Sopranos type shit. I felt honnored to overhear this gem......I will be going to jail, you to the hospal.....brilliant. I now hunger for more details. Ok I have to order my ice coffe now.

Yours in Pauley Walnuts,
Cl

2004-04-01T01:18:00.000-05:00

Yo,

So I just finished moving everything out of 38 St. Marks Pl (my pld apt). Kinda sad....my room is all the way bear waiting for one Matt Army to take the reigns. I have spent the last 2 days moving over records, cds, comic books, action figures, electroncis, clothes, a few pieces of furniture related to housing the previous list. Got say the new pad is going to Kick ass with me and the little lady. But I would be lying if I didnt says it feels wierd to be spending my last nights in these hallowed halls so let me do the muster roll call that I join as X-38 st marksters:

John Zuliwaga
Sherry
Mackey (R.I.P.)
kip Kouri
Anne Fornecker
Nancy Fischeler
Jim Flood
Kiara
Kevin Defenbaugh
Jason Coolie
Sieko
Jill & Ed Shelf Life
Julie
Josh
Jenny
Greg
Carl's Girlfiend
Angela Coppala
Dave P

Lots of amazing memories here certainly, the Sexy Swinging Singles Party, Sopranos pot luck, family dinners, christmas parties, The Sock Hop, first Hecklers gig, The Shelf Life basement indie rock marathon, rearranging furniture on sept 12th 2001, mindaltering latenights, waiting for larry/17/evergreen, too many amazing sports moments to name, craps/poker parties, private rushmore screenings, eric & amie 8mm film festival, fantasy baseball draft, ncaa draft pools, HBO sundays, record listening, WCAL broadcasts, the "book", Olympic headquarters, easter dinners, Crush Factor writing sessions, Bel, science fiction wall, 20 Midgets, and so on and so forth...

I just realized I have lived here longer than any place except my childhood home.

Feel free to post about this classic location on the comments section, favorie memories, pest residents, worst memories ect.

Yours in 38 St. Marks Pl Brooklyn,
Cl

2004-03-30T17:21:00.000-05:00

Hey long time no blog. So freakin busy. blah blah. I hate people who are all I AM BUSY...we all are asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok....Fanatasy baseball is going to rule. I am already flying under radar and luvin it. Balgavy might not see it as he crunches the numbers. Let be said I have built around AROD well. We will be in the mix and our young pitching is going to FLOURISH like you would NOT believe. Santana, Peavy, Beckett...NICE F' all ya'all in my league.

Subway ramblings...ie I am pathetic...not altured from ramblings...

Do you ever get those days, weeks, months, years where everything seems to be spinning out of control. Like you have no way to manipulate events swarming around you. I am in the midst of one of those stress vortexes right now. Moving, marriage, grad school, small buisness, rock band, sick boss, sick dad its like some REAL WORLD kick in the mouth.

But the thing is as you ger older this stuff never slows down it just continues to bombard you until you learn to deal or go fucking insane!!!!!!!!!

Oh well......

I wish I had a job on the new liberal radio station. That sounds like fun. I don't even know if I can listen because I am so insanely jealous of the hosts. I have mixed emotions about al frankin. I do respect his SNL pedigree and think he is funnyu but do you ever start to feel like he is grave robbing this whole idea of the angry liberal? I haven't read his books but they seem to be obsessewd with revealing the man behind the curtain but since he is essentially preaching to the converted what is he accomplishing. Do Rush LImbaugh, O'Reily and Sean Hannity really reprsent........

Yours in the no spin zone,
Cl

2004-03-26T12:22:00.000-05:00

More updates, sorry I am on a coffe fed rampage, why can't it be while I work OH WELL!!!!!!

Started my Washington Redskins Blog Joe Gibbs Baby! today in honor of opening of Spring MINI CAMP!

Yours in Ernest Byner,
Cl

2004-03-26T12:17:00.000-05:00

I have to keep flogging my little brothers blog Days in the life of a "normal" TEEN maybe its because he is my bro, but I think its hysterical. I just added a comments section to his blog so that should be fun. My first comments to him will include ridicule for his horrible grammer/spelling/typo errors which make him, even by my standards, sound retarded.

Anyone know any other teenbased blogs???

Yours in sweet sixteen,
Cl

2004-03-26T11:40:00.000-05:00

Yo Deuche Bags!

Like a complete moron I fucked up my whole blog by deleting the template! And of course I didnt have it saved even though Sensai Balgavy said SAVE YOUR TEMPLATE. Well enough jargon talk. I actually made the site even BETTER baby!!!!!!!!!!!!! I expanded the Required Reading section to include some new stuff that I am hooked on. This includes the excellent pro media sanity blog BuzzMachine created by the dude who started Entertainment Weekly and a good election issues blog by fellow JMU Duke Brian Minter Bears Will Attack

So everything, including the comments pages which people need to use more, is back up!

Yours in John Kerry,
Cl

2004-03-26T11:09:00.000-05:00

So I have a few aborted Blogs from yesterday that I am going to post in bold print because I believe to be the best blogger I can be I need to just crap out all the junk. Maybe thats self indulgent but isn't that sort of the point of Blogs...sorry if they just trail off it probably meant the train came or something.

So I was just at this spa SOHO sanctuary (recapping here on an uptown W train) to get my lady a gift certificate for her birthday. I am very happy to get this and got a great package, she will be siked and I will be happy blahblahblah and puppies to. Happy ending's all around.

BUT I would be remiss to not report on my experience because its funny, mostly at my own expense....

FOR ME I am an anti spa kinda guy. All the therapys and treatments don't mean nothin to me. I hate massages. I only learned what exfoliation gel was when I acidently washed may hair with it. OUCH. No metrosexual am I. Well like most of us I am not that comfortable in strange situations so when I walked into the place I already had my hackles up. The liquid heat from the saunas hits you immediately doping you like some hop head. I was disoriented. I have this large Carhart (Thats my brand baby!) jacket on that has now endured two long winters and kinda stinks. I felt like a black dude in Far Rockaway. Out of place. Instantaenously three blissed out recptionist turned on me like an invading Hum.....

AND...

I was just going to spew a bunch of shit about the 1/9 train always pulling way as my 2/3 pulls into the 96st station on the red line. Complaing how they need to coordinate the transfer and a bunch of other hot air. And because it literally just happened to me as I bang this out on the sidekick I can't gear myself up for it. I mean I lived right? Unlike those unwashed masses in Madrid. They just disarmed a bomb underneath a commuter train in France to. I was in the subway station the day on atlantic ave in brooklyn they shut down a plot there for transit terror.

Nice my train just came...

Regularly I see national gaurdsman with m16s and bomb sniffing dogs in the subway....

Let it not be said I dont hold anything back!

Yours in Danger
Cl

2004-03-24T17:54:00.004-05:00

So I really think the HOWARD STERN factor is going to really bite old Bush II on the ass. I am a Stern FANATIC so call me bias BUT this FCC/NIPPLEGATE/THE PASSION/NO WMD/RICK SANTORUM/URBAN OUTFITTERS coup de tat of the ole' US of A is FRIGHTENING beyond belief.

Stern is currently spending his (last?) days smacking Bush and right wing warriors around like drunk sparring partners and doing more damage than an army of cloned John Kerrys could.

ANY WAY.....I think story and the many facted issues aren't going away antime soon as we prepare to do battle with men who activily look to tear down our rights. Stern has turned his personal website (which previously he admittedly underused) into a clearinghouse for anti bush/pro stern, anti religous conservatives/pro freespeech funny/serious links. I love it! I could stay on it for hours! Check it out:

HOWARD STERN.COM

Also you might notice a new link on the right. Its to The good doctor Gonzo's regular sports/politics column on ESPN's Page 2. In these dark and mysterious times who better to look to for wisdom than Mr. Fear & Loathing himself. Also you can get gambling tips!

2004-03-24T15:45:00.000-05:00

Yo

no longwinded discourse here on the genocide of wacko christians this time out. Just a quick shout out about my 17 Year old brother Bryan's hysterical new blog. He has a loose funny vibe. Here is the link

"Normal" Teenager

. Make him part of your daily blog diet if you want to connect to your puberty! And who doesn't wanna relive those chuckle years.

Also I wanted to give out my AOL Instant Message name in case anyone wants to yell at me: stooznyc

My brother's is blaw2828

Yours in Balgavy
Cl

2004-03-24T11:17:00.000-05:00

Yo

This blog shit is melting my brain all I think about is BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG. MUST READ WRITE BLOGS ALL THE TIME..

I wish I just had a microchip in my head that I could think "prepare text for uplink" than babble out a bunch of mental diharea (dont care if spelled wrong) and some than when I run dry of I think "end text" and than "uplink thought-speak to blog and publish."

Until they do that its an imperfect system yet one I am fully on board with. I even like reading other people's blogs its all quasi personal I love that. Like the study that just said people are MORE honest online. Does that mean that most internet users are woman 5'3 120lb C/D cup? But sereiously folks people love to lie all the time that is the true national past time.

Every jerkoff should get a blog, I like the idea that everyone just vents in a text box their minutia and hang up. Maybe it will make people more relaxed out here in the unvirtual world when like for instance you trample me on the subway.

Yours in blaw2828
Cl

2004-03-24T02:59:00.000-05:00

So here I am sitting here wasting valuable time waiting to play a Hecklers gig....

Every god damn time the promoter/club insists we get to the venue like mega early. Like tonight for example we had to be here at 645 on a freakin Tuesday night. I mean we are workin stiffs its a real pain in the ass to bust it to get there that early. But of course when we show up some little east viallage twat that looks like that chick mia suvlaki from American Beauty tells us we can't even unload the car until 730 and that is the policy 7 days a week. Why the hell didn't the promoter tell us that!!!!!!!!

Now we are sitting in the dank cold basement of the Club Lit listening to the metal band Symphony X on the house PA. They sound like a cross between Europe and Yngvie Malmsteen. Oh Rock n Roll, gotta love...

Actually lately I have been hating rock and roll more and more but I can't explain exactly why. Broken promises, the fact that shit rises to the top almost without fault. Makes me want to buy a season pass to the symphony.

And don't even start me off on live concerts I am almost over that as I am right wing christian groups.

Do these people have lives. I am calling for internment camps. Round up christian extremists and give them utah or alabama to run as their own country and make the visas to the rest of the country damn near impossible to attain. Let them outlaw fun, sex. Minorities. Swearing, abortions, gays, music, movies, medical research, evolution in their own country and let all uf sane live and let live types have the rest of the country.

Yours in allah
Cl

2004-03-23T09:43:00.000-05:00

I am so sick of my dual apartment system. Always trudging my ass and a bacpack up the steep park slope hills. I gotta say I am revved up about the idea of gettin hitched in a few months maybe its my 32 year old geezer status but getting some donesticity into my life sounds right good.

What doesn't feel good are my burning calves rounding on to 6th ave. Walking is way overated unless you enjoy being healthy. New york has got to be the walking capital of the western world. I feel like half my life is spent navigating jagged sidewalks. Currently I am walking and typing pretty musch not looking up from the console. At any moment I could trip and fall causing signifigant damage to myself and my robot friend. But I thrive on danger and I do this for you the bloging q public. Like charlto....whoops almost just got hit by a car....n heston jr. I pardon my critics.....

Yours in jim chevizal
Cl

2004-03-22T13:46:00.000-05:00

I am back. Is there a legal limit on how many blog enteries in a day one can post??? I am sure Colin Powell's nephew is working on anti blogging legislation as I type.

Speaking of typing, I will be writing a good amount of blogs on my TMOBILE Sidekick. This is only the greatest thing I have ever owned. 2 weeks ago when I lost my recharger and was without my robot friend I almost hung myself. The fact thta I am posting my random thoughts to the WORLD WIDE WEB while whipping around in a brooklyn gypsy cab is the greatest thing to happen to new journalism since Dr. Gonzo gave up his dreams of bieng a novelist.

BUT the smale tmobile key board makes me prone to typos. Make the leap with me people I am confident you can deduce my meaning. I am not tapping out al queda code or anything

Speaking of alqueda have they not completely won the war on terrorism? What's the over under on the death toll, american and otherwise, on bush's watch. I will set it at 1000 and bet my paycheck on over...

This fuckin driver has his squack box set to inhuman decibles. I am writhing in pain in the back in the back seat. It sounds like the chatter before a terrorist strike to.

Cl

2004-03-22T12:27:00.000-05:00

Sitting here in my room that will be my room no longer in under 2 weeks, wierd but not an all unpleasnt thought really. Started taking posters down, that's hard and I can't even look my action figures as they scream "lord god father why have you foresaken me."

In fact let me say right now that I have some cool stuff that I have to get rid of and it will break me as a man to throw it away. Like right now I am looking at a copy of Deadwood City Choose your own adventures series #8 which from reports is most likely more entertaining than HBO's version Deadwood. Or how about a glass fire dragon figurine.

As an introductry offer to Bile & Venom readers I am giving stuff away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just email me or make contact with me to come by. If you can't make it over here email (chrislarry@nyc.rr.com) and I will send you something. Like how about a Rod Langway hockey card a beer bottle designed by artist Ralph Steadmen.?

OK have to alternate side park.

Chris

2004-03-21T15:45:00.000-05:00

So here is my entry point into the dark underbelly of blogs. I figured since I basicaly have a running internal blog it might be healthy to start puking this stuff out because its causing some serious stomach and brain cramping. I am not gone waste a lot of time on introduction, you either A) already know me, B) don't care or C) hopefully my insightfull, witty blogs will allow you to get to me over time.

Currently I am on the crapper of some seedy New York State driving school taking a break from the antiquated drivers ed snuff films. An endless barage of crying parents of dead kids.

I am 31 years old and have been driving since I was 16. When I moved to NYC I didn't ned a car and never drove. My Virginia liscense expired and I didn't renew it in NYC because why bother I was a straphanger now! My mother repeated annoyed me with her endless nagging of "you beter take care of this" and of course I ignored her and figured I would do it eventually. Well life loves to kick yo right in the nuts when you act like an idiot. By the time I got around to looking into getting it all figured my liscense had been expired over a year which means instead of filling out some paperwork and standing in line for 2 hours I gotta do the whole fucking process like some spazzed out zip popping 15 year old. Lerners permit, 5 hour class road test, the whole scam.

No in this time all this is happening I got a girlfriend who just got a free standard transmission jeep which she couldn't drive. So now I am driver. For the past 5 years I have been driving without a liscnce. Not that I haven't tried. I have flunked the drivers test TWICE because I am so comfortable driving.

The New York City Dmv is a complete farce filled with graft, bias and the most assinine rules. I am in the middle of the second 5 hour class. I let the first one I took expire, sound familiar? This teaches nothing and has got to be the biggest waste of time.

Oh well I am already bored of this topic my lesson is DONT RUN AFOUL OF GOVERMENT BEAUROCRACY BECAUSE IT WILL SCREW YOU EVERY TIME

Ok gotta jet about to order sub at City Sub and get home for more NCAA action

I promise my bloggin skills will improve

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